Life Just Got Complicated
by Can't-Escape-My-Fandoms
Summary: Emma Swan has been alone all her life. Until a few years ago, she never wanted friends, but Ruby, and then Belle, wormed their way into her life. When Ruby wants to move in with Belle after dating for a long while, Emma, feeling abandoned again ends up having a one night stand, one that becomes her roommate thanks to Ruby. The problem? She's pregnant with his kid.
1. Chapter 1: Lonely Hearts

**Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT but I really wish I did.  
**

 **So this is a modern AU fic that I've had in my head for a while.**

 **This Chapter is Rated M, and it will likely be the only smut in the story, hence the T rating for the rest of the story.**

 **The smut is very plot relevant so bear with lol.**

 **If you are a fan of my other stories, I love answering questions about my fics and I love long reviews.**

 **Enjoy and please review!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Lonely Hearts**

Her rum appeared before her, and Emma wasted no time in taking a hefty sip. She definitely needed it. Her usual drink of choice was rum and coke, but after the bomb her roommate and best friend Ruby had dropped on her today, Emma needed a stronger drink.

All of her life Emma had been abandoned. Why should Ruby be any different? After two years of living together, and worming her way into Emma's life and defenses, Ruby decided to move in with her girlfriend of ten months, Belle.

It wasn't that Emma wasn't happy for them. They were her only friends, the only friends she allowed herself to have, and Emma was honestly happy for them and happy that they were happy. But after twenty-four years of being abandoned by everyone who ever mattered to her, Emma couldn't stop the ugly feelings of self-loathing and worthlessness that creeped up. Ruby was literally moving a few blocks away, and she promised Emma that nothing would change, but too much would change. Ruby and Belle would be together and happy, and yeah, maybe they wouldn't forget about Emma, but Emma herself would still be alone.

She really should've known better. She was always meant to be alone.

Taking another sip, she paid no mind to the man who slipped onto the stool next to her, who also ordered rum.

When his rum arrived, the man turned to Emma, holding up his glass. "To lonely hearts."

Emma turned to look at him, breathing sharply when her eyes connected to the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Deeper and fuller than the sea, those blue eyes spoke of loneliness and longing, but more than that, Emma saw something of herself reflected in his eyes.

Inwardly shaking herself, her gaze drifted from his eyes to his face. High cheekbones that were tinted with red, hidden under a mixture of dark brown and ginger scruff, with a scar slashed across the right cheek just barely discernible in this lighting, a dimple peeking out thanks to his smirk. His jaw was angular, but not sharply so, a softness in place instead. His black hair was tousled in a way that Emma couldn't tell if he did it on purpose or if it was natural.

He was mesmerizingly handsome, and it sent a flare of heat through Emma as she took him in.

Usually pretty eyes and a handsome face wouldn't have affected her, or if it did, she'd never show it, but she was feeling a little abandoned tonight, or else she would've ignored the heat, made a snappy comment and brushed him off. As it was…she didn't. "What makes you think my heart is lonely?"

"You're at a bar by yourself at five in the evening on a Tuesday, and you're drinking that rum like it's the first drink you've seen in years." Truth be told, Killian could understand why. Even with all his friends and his brother back in Storybrooke, he knew what it was like to be alone. Though his self-imposed exile from Storybrooke these past five years hadn't helped matters. The only person he even spoke to anymore was an old high school friend who was dating his roommate.

"Maybe I'm just enjoying a nice rum." She gestured to his glass. "I suppose that's why you're here at five on a Tuesday?"

Killian chuckled. "Ah yes. Well then, if your heart isn't lonely, what shall we toast to?"

Emma chewed at her bottom lip. This guy was friendly in a way most hot guys weren't as if he really did want to sit here and chat. A feeling of recklessness began to uncoil in her gut. "We could sit here and make idle chit chat, pretend that we're trying to get to know each other, laugh and flirt, and then head to your place to fuck." Emma rattled off. "Or we could cut the bull and just go straight to the prize."

She surprised him, this attractive enigma who had fire in her green eyes.

Killian downed his rum. What the hell? It had been over a year since his last one night stand and the only two friends that he had had been pushing him to get out more and socialize. They probably meant that he needed more friends and a girlfriend, but he wasn't ready for that. "If you think you can handle it."

"Trust me, buddy, you won't be able to handle it." Emma finished off her rum and stood. "Last chance?"

The man had a smirk that was sexy enough to melt any woman, or man for that matter, that looked his way. And boy, did Emma melt.

"You'll not be rid of me that easily, love."

* * *

She was certain that she was on fire as the man from the bar pressed her back into the door of his apartment, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses along her throat, eliciting moans from her that none of her one night stands before had been able to draw from her. Then again, it had been about five months since the last time she had had sex with anyone, and that experience had been subpar.

His hands were sliding underneath the hem of her blouse as his mouth travelled lower. The hand she had in his hair clenched and she pulled, earning a throaty moan from him. Emma smirked. So he liked it a little rough, did he? She pulled at his hair a little harder this time, and he ground against her, his moan muffled against her chest, where he had been kissing her.

"Fuck." He panted, nipping his way back up to her neck.

"That is what we're trying to do." Emma teased.

Killian chuckled at her quick response. He really did like this woman, and he wished that she would give her name, or allow him to give her his, but he got the sense that he shouldn't push her.

He managed to pry his lips from the sensitive spot on her neck that had her flushed and panting, only to press them against her own delectable ones. God above, she was a damn good kisser, opening up for him, allowing him to take and giving just as much back. He wondered if this was what Heaven was like.

With much reluctance, Emma pulled away from the kiss, but kept her lips close. "Bedroom." She commanded.

He lifted her up without hesitation, forcing Emma to wrap her arms tightly around his neck, and locking her legs around his waist. Normally, she hated when guys attempted this little show of strength, because they usually dropped her or pulled something, which killed the mood, but this guy held her up and carried her with ease as if she wasn't all that heavy at all. To her surprise, he successfully navigated his apartment and opened the door without struggle.

Killian slowly let her drop to her feet so that every inch of their bodies felt each other. The woman let out an impressed sigh as her hands pulled his shirt from his pants.

"You need less clothes." Her sultry tone made him harden.

"So do you." He practically growled as one of his hands teased along the column of buttons on her blouse.

"Don't tear it." She warned him.

Killian smirked, and bent forward, licking a stripe along her throat. "I'll be very gentle with them." He promised, though he sounded like pure sin.

She was confused as to why his mouth was going lower instead of back to her lips where it belonged, Emma watched as he started to undo her buttons with his teeth. She was even more stunned that it actually worked, but his tongue, lips, and teeth against her skin soon made her forget that.

He looked up at her from his kneeling position, preening at her flushed body and uneven pants, and their eyes met.

Emma bit her lip hard as he undid her jeans with his teeth.

With her boots and jeans off, Killian gently pushed her back onto the bed.

"Your turn." Emma grabbed at the hem of his shirt and pulled it over him, tossing it carelessly away. Her hands snaked under the waistband of his jeans, finding the ridge of his erection beneath his boxers.

Emma swallowed at the intense expression on his face. God, no one had ever looked at her like that before. A sense of urgency overtook her as she finished stripping him, leaving him bare to her, his thick cock straining despite it's newfound freedom. Fuck her, he was larger than average and certainly bigger than most guys she fucked.

As she reached for his cock, Killian dodged her. "Ah, ah. Not yet, love."

"I'm not your love." She huffed.

"It's either that or your name." He offered.

She groaned. "Fine, love it is. Will you fuck me, now?"

Killian smirked. "Now, where's the fun in that." He lowered his head to to her chest, sucking a lace clad breast into his mouth.

Emma arched into him. "Shit."

As he suckled one breast, one hand began kneading at her other breast, while the other teased along her hip toying with the hem of her lace panties. He had her writhing underneath him, and for once, Emma was enjoying not being on top.

When he switched his mouth to her other breast, and switched hands, he changed it up, his right hand being bolder, pushed her panties down, and found her sensitive clit.

If she was of sound mind, Emma would've been embarrassed by the inhuman moan that escaped her as the man fingered her clit.

His thumb pressed up against her as his fingers travelled to her soaking core. "Fuck, you're so fucking wet."

Emma helplessly arched into him again as he began to pump one finger inside of her. "Well, don't stop now." She panted.

At her words, he added a second finger and began to thrust them into her faster, while his lips worked their way back up to her neck.

Her eyes rolled back at the sensations she was being subjected to. Fuck, this man knew his way around a woman's body, that was for damn sure. Emma had never been so turned on in her life. Hell, he made her want to throw out her one and done rule if every time was this good. "Ah." Emma gasped as he added a third finger, thrusting them in faster and harder. "Fuck!" Her eyes rolled back as her orgasm hit her full force.

Killian hissed with pleasure as her nails dug into his back, his fingers slowing down and helping her ride out her orgasm. He looked up from where he was marking the top of her breast to watch her. He swallowed as he took in the sheer, unabashed pleasure in her face, enjoying the flush that covered her face and spread down to her chest. She looked as absolutely wrecked as he felt. Slowly, he kissed his way down her body.

Opening her eyes, Emma watched as he went lower. "What are you doing?" She asked breathlessly, though her voice was more husky from pleasure than anything else.

"What does it look like?" He teased as he fully removed her panties.

"You don't have to." Emma blushed. Most guys never liked to eat her out, and the ones she convinced to do it failed spectacularly.

Killian chuckled. "On the contrary, I'd love to."

"Really, you don't, oh." Emma gasped, hands clenching the sheets as he licked between her folds.

"Believe me, love." He nipped at her clit causing her to press further into him. "I really want to."

With her clit in his mouth, Emma felt her pleasure ramping up again. Jesus, he had a talented mouth. "Oh God."

He moved his hands to her hips to keep them pressed into the mattress as he tongue pleasured her entering her heat and tasting her sweetness with abandon, her gasps and moans motivating him to work her faster.

"Ah, fuck, faster." She pleaded.

Killian was helpless to comply, his own need for her around his cock nearly too much for him to bear as he ground his hips into the mattress to give him some relief until she was ready for him.

It shocked her how quickly her second orgasm hit her, though not nearly as much as the fact that she actually had orgasmed twice now, and the man hadn't even put his cock to good use yet.

He didn't wait for her to come down this time, pushing himself up over her, kissing her before she could catch her breath.

Emma's hands flew from the sheets to him as he kissed her, pulling him closer to her. Her bra was off before she realized what his hands had been doing, and then he pulled back to open his nightstand, irritating her until she realized he was searching for a condom.

Killian gripped the foil package and looked down at her with a cheeky grin. "You up for it, love?" With a seductive smile that had Killian's heart thundering, she took the package from him and slyly ripped it open with her teeth. He watched entranced as she took the condom out, smirking at him as her free hand trailed down his chest to his strained erection before wrapping her hand around it. Killian's eyes closed as a deep moan left him.

Emma liked that noise a lot, pumping his hot, thick cock a few times, just to get him to moan again.

"Fuck, love." He growled, his hands gripping at her hips hard. "I'm not going to last if you keep that up." A sultry smile was her answer as her other hand moved to his cock and rolled the condom over him.

Her legs wrapped around him, pressing his length to her soaked heat. "I'm sure you can handle it."

It was that moment that Killian knew this woman would be the death of him. He pulled back and lined himself up with her entrance, slowly pushing inside of her. Killian's eyes rolled back, his teeth biting his lip, as her walls surrounded him. Emma gripped him tightly to her as she adjusted to his size that seemed to stretch her to her limit. "Fuck." She groaned into his neck.

Killian stopped once he was fully inside of her to give her a moment. "All right there?"

Emma nodded.

Taking that as a go-ahead, Killian began to move, unhurried, wanting this to last.

The slow pace was killing Emma, it was too close to something Emma didn't want to acknowledge and she was too on edge, needing this new fire he started up to be sated. "Faster." She urged, her feet dropping to the mattress to anchor her. "Faster."

Killian heeded her plea, bracing himself against the mattress as he hovered over her, thrusting into her faster, letting out a choked groan as she grabbed onto his ass.

When he hit her g-spot, Emma couldn't quell the passionate moans that left her as her toes curled into the sheets. "That's it." She gasped, desperately pulling him closer. "Right there."

He let out a growl of pleasure as he increased their pace. They were both close, he could feel it, and as much as he wanted this ecstasy to last, he wanted to watch her come. Bracing himself on one arm, his fingers found her sensitive bud again, rubbing against it.

"Oh God." Emma cried out as he worked her up again. She felt another orgasm mounting in her gut as they moved together. Not one to be outdone, Emma danced her fingers along his skin until she reached his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze.

His movements stuttered, a throaty groan escaping him. "That's not fair."

"It's completely fair." She breathed as she caressed his balls heightening his pleasure.

Killian's hips moved on their own accord as he was too far gone with pleasure and too consumed by a need to fulfill hers. He moved faster and faster, her moans spurring him on. "That's it, love. Come for me."

Her mind went blank as her climax hit her, seeing white behind her eyes, hearing an inhuman moan ripped from her throat. Her whole body shook as her walls clamped around him.

He buried his face in her neck as he thrusted into her, reaching his own climax. As they both came back to themselves, Killian pushed himself off of her, plopping into the mattress with little grace.

An amused huff left Emma.

Killian snuck an arm underneath her, pulling her to him.

He was kissing her before Emma could ask what he was doing. It felt good to be in his arms, having been utterly satisfied and feeling completely boneless, him kissing her like they had all of the time in the world. That, of course, caused Emma to panic. She wasn't the girl who stayed long enough to end up in a man's arms and enjoy the afterglow of sex. It was wham, bam, thank you Sam, and she was gone. The mere fact that it felt different with him should send her running for the hills and she didn't even know his name. She reluctantly pulled away from his kiss. "I should go."

Killian felt a stab of loss at her words. He wasn't ready for her to leave yet. They needed more time. "You could stay." He offered.

"I really shouldn't." Emma protested, but she made no move to leave his arms. She hoped that it was because her body physically couldn't move at the moment, and not due to the feelings this man was stirring inside of her.

"Just long enough to get feeling back in your legs." He suggested.

A wave of exhaustion hit her then. Three orgasms and very vigorous sex seemed to take a lot out of her. Biting back a yawn, she closed her eyes. "Five minutes."

Killian responded with a sleepy chuckled.

They were both asleep in seconds.

* * *

It wasn't the nightmare so much as the feeling of being suffocated that had Emma shooting up in bed, gasping for air. Her pants soon turned into a sob as she remembered the images of her dream; of florescent lights stinging her eyes while her baby boy cried, the cold feeling of handcuffs being placed around her wrists as her heart shattered, metal bars slamming every night before lights out…it was too much.

Warm hands wrapped around her shoulders. "Shh, love." She was pulled back into his arms. "I've got you. You're safe."

As her cries subsided, Emma stiffened as he comforted her. She didn't let people get close to her, especially not men. Not since that bastard that broke her heart and her ability to trust. She couldn't do feelings; not when this man felt safe and kissed her forehead like she was something precious that could be loved. The need to bolt only grew, but Emma sensed that he wouldn't let her leave so easily, not when she was in this state. She hated to admit it too, but she was reluctant to leave him.

With their bodies pressed together like this, she could feel him already half hard from sleep, and that sparked an idea. Sex was something that she could control and handle, and something that might make him forget about comforting her.

Killian started when her lips pressed forcefully against his as she pushed him back onto the bed. Her kiss was rough and demanding, leaving him no choice but to open up for her. He groaned when her hand wrapped around his half hard dick, moving her hand up and down to bring him to full hardness. The change in her only concerned him, so he pried his lips from her. "Love, wait."

"Shh." Emma kissed him again, not wanting to see the worry in his eyes, unwilling to let him show his concern. She didn't need someone who felt for her; she just needed a good lay, and he was it.

He felt a sense of powerlessness as she kissed him into oblivion, one of her hands stroked his sensitive cock, while her other hand drifted to his balls teasing them. His hips buck up to her, a need for her growing.

Emma positioned herself over him, rubbing her wet folds against his hard dick, earning a guttural moan from him. It was heady to have this power of him, to have him watching her through half closed eyes, a look of pure desire on his face. Their eyes met as she sunk down on his cock, both moaning as she slowly took him inside of her.

Killian grabbed her hips tightly, anchoring himself to her. She was much tighter this time around, squeezing him to the point he worried he'd come right then and there like a school boy. He breathed through his nose as he looked up at her, waiting for her lead.

Emma's eyes were closed as she adjusted to him as he felt much bigger like this, and it felt so good. Opening her eyes, she looked down at him, seeing that he was waiting for her. He was letting her lead. Bracing her hands against his chest, Emma leisurely began to move, sliding herself up and down his thick length, biting her lip as her belly tightened.

His breath caught as he watched her ride him unhurriedly, her eyes full of desire as she watched him, her bottom lip caught seductively between her teeth. He braced his feet against the mattress, matching her pace, unwilling to go faster, wanting to draw this out as long as possible. She was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, and he wanted to have this moment forever.

They moved together, slowly building up their pleasure, and suddenly it was too much for Emma. They were supposed to be fucking, not doing whatever this was, not feeling so connected to each other. Desperate to break this spell they were under, Emma move her hips faster, needing to end this and break their connection.

Something spooked her, Killian could see that, but he didn't want her to fear whatever was happening between them. He hadn't felt like this in years, and even then, it hadn't been as intense as this. Killian grasped her hips, slowing her, before pulling her to him, turning them onto their sides.

Emma was startled by this new position, but she didn't stop him as he lifted her leg over his, moving himself so that he was half hovering over her, thrusting into her without hurry. She couldn't maneuver as well the way he had them situated, and just as she was about to protest, he angled his thrusts just right, hitting her g-spot. His lips caressed hers lightly, almost as if he was asking permission to kiss her. Emma kissed him back, their mouths moving as languidly as their bodies were, their pleasure slowly increasing. Her hands caressed his neck as they kissed, moving down to his soft chest hair, scratching lightly against his muscles.

They broke apart when the need to breathe became too much, but their foreheads remained pressed together. They breathed each other in as they reached their peak together, her walls shuddering around him as he spilled inside of her.

As they came down from their love making, Emma began to panic, hating the feelings he stirred. The feeling of being safe and wanted, the need to be loved, the possibility of more than just a one night stand. She needed to get out of here and get far away from him.

Killian was startled when she roughly pushed him off of her.

Her legs felt like jelly as she pushed herself up, eyes scanning the dark room for her clothes. A light came on behind her and she heard the sheets rustle. Ignoring him, she grabbed her jeans, pulling them on quickly, foregoing the search for her panties. Anything to get her out of her as soon as possible.

Killian pushed himself off of the bed, cautious of her frantic movements as she jerked on her bra and blouse. He wasn't sure what to say to hear, but he knew he didn't want her to leave. "Love, wait…"

"No." Emma bent down to grab her boots leaving the room. She didn't want to wait already feeling that she was risking a lot. What was she thinking staying as long as she did? She fucking fell asleep in his arms. She never let that happen before, and why did she feel this way for a one night stand who's name she didn't even know?

He followed her into the main room of the apartment, grabbing her arm before she reached the door. "Please wait." He pleaded. When she turned to look at him, her eyes were wild with panic, and it made his heart ache that she was so scared of what had transpired between them.

"Let me go." Emma hated how small her voice sounded.

Killian wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and hold her, but he complied with her wish, letting go of her arm.

She was out the door before he could blink, leaving him feeling more hollow and alone than he had felt in years.

* * *

Her apartment was dark and silent when she returned, and Emma hoped that meant Ruby was at Belle's or that she was asleep. She couldn't deal with a confrontation now. Not when all she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and cry.

He was just a one night stand, but she felt like leaving him left a hole in her heart, and she didn't know why. It was just sex. Really, really amazing sex. The best she had ever had. There was no reason that she should feel this need to get attached to him.

Maybe it wasn't him. The sex was great, but maybe it was her loneliness that sought out attachment. Ruby was moving out after all, and it had made Emma feel alone and broken all over again. Maybe her feelings over that being on the surface was why she was latching on to this man who was there when she needed it.

She stripped off her clothes as soon as she entered her bedroom, and climbed underneath her duvet, aching with regret over leaving, and wishing that she had let him tell her his name at the very least. God, she was just too damn sensitive right now.

It had to be tied to Ruby's moving out and not to the man himself.

He'd forever be a nameless one night stand.

It was for the best. She couldn't get attached. As Neal had proved, she was a broken, unlovable woman, who didn't deserve love or people who cared about her. Ruby moving out only backed that up.

She was meant to be alone.

For the first time in years, Emma cried herself to sleep.

* * *

 **So this was my first attempt ever at CS smut, though not my first attempt at smut overall. Now the rest of the fic will be Rated T, so this is all you guys are going to get. Hope you guys enjoyed and stay tuned!**

 **Please review!  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Serendipity or Fate?

**Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT even though I wish I did.**

 **Okay now here we get Ruby and Belle.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy. Please review! And questions are welcome!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Serendipity or Fate?**

Two weeks had passed since his one night stand, and still Killian couldn't get her out of his head. It didn't help that he found her panties later that morning, a physical reminder that proved it wasn't a dream and that she was real.

He wished that he had a way to find her. He'd gone back to the bar the first three nights after their rendezvous, but he had no such luck, getting the feeling that she was too spooked to return to the bar. Maybe if he had a name…but she had been so insistent on no names. It had to be a one time thing for her.

Killian wished it could've been a one time thing for him too. As it was, she had haunted his dreams and his thoughts. He hadn't been so cut up over a woman since Milah.

He winced at the thought. That had ended badly, enough so that he exiled himself from his hometown and hadn't spoken to his brother or friends in five years. He hadn't had a relationship either. One night stands were all he was willing to take.

Five years of dealing with heartbreak, and for the first time, a one night stand didn't sit well with him. He wanted to find the woman and get to know her.

"Okay, so this box is done." Belle's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

Belle had been his friend for close to two years now. They met when he was living in New York and she was getting her degree in English Literature. Last year Belle had gotten into graduate school in Boston, so they decided to move together. It helped that Killian's high school friend Ruby, the only person from Storybrooke he'd had contact with in recent years, already lived in Boston with her roommate.

A roommate that would now be Killian's. He hadn't met this Emma Swan, mostly due to work, but also because Ruby and Belle had wanted to set him up with her. But he knew Ruby's schemes and how she worked, so he'd been highly successful at avoiding meeting the lass, much to Ruby's chagrin.

Then Ruby and Belle decided to move in together, and Ruby convinced Killian to move in with Emma. Killian was half convinced that Ruby and Belle moving in together was yet another ploy to shove him and Emma Swan together. Well he had news for Ruby, he had another woman on his mind, and he was never going to go out with this Swan girl.

"You okay?" Belle asked.

"Aye." Killian nodded, absently tossing something into his suitcase.

"You just seem out of it." Belle looked concerned. "You're not mad that we sprung this on you, are you?"

Killian shook his head. "No, lass. You and Ruby deserve happiness, and I couldn't be happier for you."

Belle smiled. "Then what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Nothing to worry about." Killian said. "So, is this Emma girl going to be at the apartment?"

"No." Belle said. "She's at work today."

Killian eyed her. "She does know about the roommate switch, right?"

Belle chuckled. "Of course she does. Ruby's been easing her into it, but Emma isn't….well, she's a bit prickly. Like you."

He huffed as he zipped up his suitcase. "So she already doesn't like me?"

"I wouldn't say that." Belle shrugged. "Emma's not good with change."

Killian sighed, rubbing at his temple. "Fantastic."

Belle placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, look, it'll be all right. Emma might stonewall you at first, but you're a charming and nice guy."

If he was, why couldn't his one night stand see that? Still, for Belle's sake, Killian put on a smile. "Too right, lass." He looked around his room, making sure that nothing was forgotten. "I think that's everything. Ready to go?"

Belle nodded, grabbing a box.

Killian sighed.

He hoped things wouldn't be too rocky with him and Emma Swan.

* * *

Chinese takeout would be her peace offering. It was the best thing Emma could come up with for this roommate that she never met before. Ruby swore up and down that this Killian Jones was one of the good ones though.

Hence Ruby and Belle trying to set Emma up with the guy for the last few months. But Emma being Emma wormed her way out of every scheme Ruby concocted. Emma Swan did not do relationships. She tried once, her stupid teenage desperation for love clouding her judgement, and it failed spectacularly.

She blocked out the memories that tried to creep in. She was not going to think about that at all.

Unfortunately, that only brought forth fresher memories. Of blue eyes and a comforting, accented voice in her ear. God, her one night stand was still stuck with her, even after two weeks. She never gave a second thought to her one night stands. Never. So why was this guy different? It was just sex. Really amazing sex. The best sex she'd ever had in her life and that was it. There was not supposed to be a connection there.

There wasn't a connection there. Nope.

She was determined to forget him. Hell, she had to. Besides, she didn't know him from Adam. That's why she insisted on no names. She didn't want to risk him finding her or her searching for him.

Because Emma Swan did not do relationships. Ever.

When her order was ready, she grabbed the bags and headed out to her bug. She hoped that this would make up for her not being there to help him move in. Ruby told her that she needed to try and be friendly, so she'd try. Not that she was happy about it.

Even though Ruby vouched for Jones, he was still a stranger as far as Emma was concerned. She sighed. Meeting the guy was no longer avoidable, and it's not as thought she couldn't go home ever again. Plus, if she waited any longer, her peace offering would end up seeing the inside of a microwave.

"Okay, Emma." She nodded. "Time to go meet this guy."

* * *

Killian cracked his neck as he entered his new apartment. Ruby's stuff was now officially in the truck downstairs, and she and Belle would be driving it all back to their place soon.

As for his things, he made sure to put everything in his new room, completely uncertain as to his status here. He didn't want to get on his new roommate's bad side before they even introduced themselves.

His phone pinged.

 _We're heading out._ Ruby's text read.

"What the hell?" He huffed.

They were supposed to stay and introduce him and Emma properly. He texted as much to Ruby.

 _Blame your very sexy friend and her dirty little mind._

Killian shook his head. He had a feeling that without Ruby and Belle as a buffer, meeting Emma wasn't going to go over smoothly. Sighing, he went back to his new room and began unpacking. While he took out his clothes and sorted them, he worked through various scenarios of how he'd introduce himself to Emma, and hoped that it wouldn't be too terribly awkward.

An image of blonde hair came to his mind.

There she was again. Killian longed to know who she was, and to see her again. His heart ached to know. He wish he knew why. Why was that one night so life altering? Why had she been the first person in a long time to make his heart race? It couldn't have just been the sex. The sex had been fantastic. The best he'd ever had, but there was something else. There was a connection there.

He heard the door to the apartment open and shut, followed by the sound of plastic bags rustling.

Time to face the music.

Taking a breath, he left the room and walked towards the little kitchenette.

He froze when he saw blonde hair through the opening over the bar. His heart quickened it's pace. It couldn't be…could it? There was no way that it was possible. He cleared his throat, unable to really find his voice.

"Sorry Ruby bailed." A very familiar voice spoke.

Killian suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"And sorry I had to work." She continued. "I hope that you like Chinese." The blonde turned around. "This place has the best…" Her eyes widened as she took him in.

They stared at each other, taking each other in.

Killian swallowed when their eyes met.

"You." Her voice was quiet.

He had no idea how to respond to that. His new roommate was the woman who hadn't given his mind any peace for the last two weeks. "Hello." He said feeling painfully awkward. What the hell else was he supposed to say?

Emma didn't have a clue as to what the hell she should say. Her one night that wouldn't leave her alone was standing in her apartment looking at her as if he was seeing the sun for the first time in his life. Panicked, Emma said the words before she could register them. "What the hell are you doing here?"

He flinched at the harshness of her tone.

Emma grimaced.

Blue eyes looked at her hesitantly, almost as if she were a skittish animal. He cleared his throat. "I'm Killian Jones." He introduced quietly, uncertainty coming off of him in waves.

Her walls slammed shut, pushing away her shock. "Obviously." She growled. "Did you know who I was?" She snapped. Anger was something that she could work with.

Killian blinked. "What?"

"Two weeks ago." Emma said. "Did you know who I was?"

"No." He said. "I didn't. I swear." Killian wasn't sure why she was so angry, but in a way he could understand. They both were shocked right now. If anger was her way of dealing with it, he could take it.

Emma knew he was telling the truth thanks to her "superpower" as Ruby had dubbed her ability to know when someone was lying. Guilt crept up in her stomach. The poor guy was just as surprised to be in this situation as she was. "Okay."

The awkwardness between them was practically suffocating.

Killian scratched behind his ear. "Um…I…"

Emma felt bad at how lost he looked. "So…okay, we might as well talk about it." They needed to get the elephant out of the room quickly, especially if they were going to be living together.

He looked down at his boots, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Yeah."

"We had sex." Emma might as well rip off the bandaid. "It was great sex, but that's all it was."

His eyes flicked back up to hers, and Emma was surprised to see hurt in his eyes. His jaw clenched. "Aye."

Emma swallowed. "Okay, so we had sex, now we're roommates. So that's it. End of story."

"So just like that?" He stepped forward slowly. "That's all it was."

"Yes." Emma lied.

Killian certainly didn't look convinced. "Are you sure about that?"

Emma huffed turning back to the now lukewarm Chinese food. "Look, we had a one night stand. It happens. Ruby and Belle don't have to know. It can stay between us."

Killian felt at a loss. Did she not feel what he had that night? No, that couldn't be it. He remembered how she looked when they made love that second time, how panicked she looked when she left. "Is there a reason you don't want them to know?" It was the only thing he could think to ask, but he was also curious. Did she regret their night?

Emma shrugged, busying herself by plating some of the food and putting it in the microwave. "They just don't need to know. It's not their business."

He sighed. What else was there to say? She was stonewalling him, just as Belle predicted, but for totally different reasons than either of them had expected. "Okay. Just between us then."

Emma was surprised that he accepted it so quickly. "Okay."

Killian ran a hand through his hair. What else was there to say? "Perhaps, we can start over."

She turned to face him.

Carefully, Killian stepped forward, holding out his hand. "I'm Killian Jones, you're new roommate."

Emma took his hand, ignoring the electricity that shot between them. "Emma Swan."

Killian smiled and Emma successfully stopped herself from swooning. "It's lovely to meet you, Swan."

* * *

Ruby dug two cartons of Ben & Jerry's out of the freezer. Cherry Garcia for her and Chunky Monkey for Belle. "So, how do you think it went down after we left?" Ruby asked, passing her girlfriend her pint of ice cream.

"Knowing Emma, it was probably awkward." Belle said. "We really shouldn't have bailed on them."

"It was totally worth it though." Ruby winked.

"You don't think Emma scared him off, do you?" Belle was concerned.

Ruby snorted. "I've known Killian for ten years. He's only ever run from a fight once."

"Yes, but Emma puts up a hell of a fight." Belle said.

"Look, this is what we wanted." Ruby shrugged. "Them to meet. They're two peas in a pod, they just don't know it yet."

"Wait, did you suggest moving in together just to get them to meet?" Belle narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend.

"No, I did want to move in with you." Ruby chuckled. "It's the right time. I suggested that Killian move in with Emma so that they couldn't avoid meeting each other. If they fall in love, well that's just a bonus."

"You're a devious woman, Ruby Lucas." Belle shook her head. "They might not you know."

"Maybe not." Ruby said over a mouthful of ice cream. "But a girl can hope."

Belle wasn't as certain about Emma and Killian as Ruby was. Both of them had their walls and struggled to let people in, so Belle doubted that either Emma or Killian would hit it off right away. It would even surprise her if they became friends.

"You look worried." Ruby commented.

"I hope they become friends at the very least." Belle told her. "But you know how they both are."

Ruby sighed, polishing off her pint. "I know. We'll just have to wait and see."

"Okay." Belle said. "I still don't think you should get your hopes up."

"I'm not." Ruby promised. "We'll call them tomorrow? Check on things?"

"You really going to risk Emma chewing your head off?" Belle snorted.

Ruby shrugged. "I can handle it."

"You also work with Killian." Belle reminded her.

"No, I work for a magazine that Killian freelances for." Ruby corrected. "If he comes in tomorrow, well, then he comes in and I'll deal with him. Besides, I think he's got projects at other places right now."

Belle shook her head. "Emma's still going to kill you."

Ruby looked contemplative. "Well then, you'll just have to avenge me."

"Nope." Belle stood and tossed her empty pint in the trash. "You dug your grave."

An expression of mocked offense came upon her face. "You would just let Emma kill me, and not take revenge?"

Belle chuckled. "I will make sure you have a beautiful funeral."

"I thought you loved me." Ruby pouted. "If they hit it off, I'm going to get you back for that."

Belle hummed noncommittally as she walked back towards their bedroom.

* * *

Sleep was not coming easily, so Emma laid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. After an awkward and silent dinner, where both of them tried and failed to talk to each other, they had both retired to their rooms. Emma turned her focus on to her skip, and she could only assume that Killian was unpacking. She didn't dare go and check.

How in the hell had they avoided meeting each other for over a year, only to meet at a bar by chance, and now end up where they were?

Emma wished now that she had let Killian tell her his name that night. If he had, maybe the night would've been different, and maybe they wouldn't have ended up having sex. God, Ruby could never find out about this. She would be maniacally gleeful over it and say something along the lines that Emma and Killian were meant to be together.

Unlike Emma, Ruby believed in love.

It was a luxury that Emma couldn't afford. Not after…not after everything that she'd been through in her life. Her walls protected her heart, even if Ruby insisted that said walls were only bad for Emma. But Ruby was a risk taker. Emma had been once upon a time.

Things changed.

Still, Emma couldn't help but wonder at the odds. Boston was a big city. Ruby and Belle never went to the bar Emma frequented. So she could assume that Killian hadn't been taken there. Unless he worked around there. It was still so odd. Of all of the people to randomly meet in the bar, it had to be Killian Jones.

Serendipity or fate?

Not that Emma believed in either concept.

Really, she should go ahead and tell Killian that being roommates won't work. They could go their separate ways and no one would get hurt. But then Killian would be homeless and Ruby and Belle would be highly suspicious. It was so frustrating.

It didn't help that every time she looked at him she felt a flutter in her stomach and her heart sped up. Even worse, she remembered quite vividly what those lips of his were capable of, and his hands, among other things. She felt herself flushing with desire thinking about that night and what he made her feel.

That was the problem though. He made her feel. Somehow, that one night, he slipped through a crack in her walls.

She hated that.

Sighing, she plopped onto her back. There was only one option. She had to squash her feelings into nothingness and ignore how he made her feel. That way she could tolerate his presence and also prevent him from having to look for a new apartment. She could do that. If there was one thing Emma Swan was good at, it was not feeling things, or well, pretending not to feel anything.

It might work.

The only problem was if Killian would go along with it or not. He seemed all right with not telling Ruby and Belle about their night, but he also looked like he really wanted to talk about it with her. Did he feel as she did?

No. Emma couldn't think like that. It didn't matter what he felt or what she felt, because she was not going to get involved with him at all. They were just roommates. That she could handle.

Now if only she could get some sleep.

* * *

 **Well that was awkward. Lol. I hope you guys liked it.**

 **Please review!**

 **Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3: Avoiding the Issue

**Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT even though I want it lol.**

 **soapdiva288208 asked: "** **My question is how long before Emma finds out that she is with child ? I have more but i don't want to overrun you with questions."**

It will still be a while until they find out about the baby. The next chapter should hopefully have a time skip so we can get closer to Emma finding out. You know i love questions, why are you holding out on me? Lol.

 **FYI all of my fics are updating today, and I've finally posted to AO3. All fics on AO3 will be caught up except BSMH. If you want to read BSMH without being overwhelmed since it's so long here, you can check it out there. Also please feel free to read my other fanfics on here (all Captain Swan all the time) and my new fic Not This Again! which will be posted soon.**

 **Also happy birthday to Jennifer Morrison!**

 **Hope you guys enjoy! Reviews and questions are always welcome!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Avoiding the Issue**

Killian wasn't sure if Emma was a morning person or not, so he made the morning coffee and breakfast as quietly as possible, which for Killian wasn't much of a feat. Liam and David used to joke that he could be a ninja, sneaking up on people like he did, purposefully or not. It seemed that his particular skill was handy now. It kept him from disturbing Emma and allowed him time to think.

It hurt that Emma seemed perfectly fine with not pursuing things between them. As they were strangers, he could give her that. A one night stand does not a relationship make. Still, he couldn't help how he felt, no more than she could help how she felt. He had a gut feeling that she did feel something more, but the way she ran from him, the way she reacted to him last night, it wouldn't do either of them any good to push the issue. He could live with that for now. What he didn't want though was to share a living space, but avoid each other like the plague. Despite their odd situation, he did want to at least become friends or live with each other in a friendly and peaceable manner. Killian certainly didn't want Emma feeling like she couldn't live in her own home.

That was that then. He would shove down his feelings, and help make this living arrangement better for both of them.

He heard the creaking of a door, likely Emma's bedroom, before feet padded across the hall. Another door opened and shut.

Killian sighed as he heard the shower turn on. That kind of avoidance was exactly what they needed to stop before it even started. He plated eggs and bacon for her and placed it in the microwave so that she could heat it whenever she was ready. Placing his own plate and mug on the bar, he moved to the stool, opening his phone to check his emails while he ate.

He had a few assignments due by the end of the week, but nothing new was coming in. He needed to make a few calls and send off some emails then. Freelance writing had its perks, but always looking for new jobs was one of the bigger cons. Belle kept pestering him to publish more of his fiction though. He had a few short stories and poems out there, but nothing that made much money. She thought he ought to write a novel. What the bloody hell could he write about?

A pretty, prickly blonde perhaps?

Killian shook his head, a scoff escaping him.

The shower shut off, but he tried to ignore it, tried to push away the images of Emma wet and naked, which wasn't hard to imagine considering that he knew exactly what she looked like naked. Killian quickly polished off his breakfast, silently berating himself for thinking along those lines. Washing the dishes wasn't much of a distraction either as he could hear every move she made. Apparently the walls in this apartment were paper thin.

He needed a better distraction. Work would do it. He always became absorbed in his assignments.

Before he could leave the kitchenette though, Emma cautiously peered over the bar. Her eyes widened a bit, startled at seeing him there.

"I made breakfast." Killian said gently. "Your plate is in the microwave."

"I'm not really a breakfast person." Emma said. "Just coffee." She gave him a wide berth when she passed him to get to the coffee machine. Quite a feat considering how small the kitchenette was and he was standing in the middle of it.

Killian wasn't sure what to say. There was an air of awkwardness around them again. He needed to figure out how to break through it. "Look, Emma..."

Emma sighed, turning around to face him. "You want to talk about us, right? Let me make it easy, I don't do relationships. One night stands are as far as I go. Wooing me with breakfast food isn't going to change my mind."

"Actually that's not what I wanted to say." Killian said, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter. "The breakfast food was habit. Belle and I used to trade off cooking duties."

"Oh." Emma flushed a little with embarrassment.

Killian continued. "I wanted to say that with us being roommates, we can't avoid each other forever. Last night we said we were going to start over and we can't do that if we're still acting like we have a history. I'd like to try to be friends."

Emma considered his words as she turned back around to make her coffee.

As he watched Emma, Killian nervously awaited her answer. He hoped that she was receptive to him.

Once her coffee was done, Emma faced him. "How about we start with roommates and go from there?"

Killian smiled. "That works for me."

Emma didn't return the smile.

To avoid the awkward silence, Killian went out into the living room and powered on his laptop.

Emma watched him curiously as she looked out over the bar area. "Shouldn't you go to work?"

"I'm a freelance writer." Killian told her. "I mostly work from home. What about you?"

Emma walked into the living room, sitting a safe distance away from Killian on her couch.

Killian occupied his armchair that Ruby had assured him could move in and that Emma wouldn't mind it.

"I work at a bailbonds agency." Emma said. "Fox Bailbonds."

He tilted his head with a curious look. "You seem more bounty hunter type than bail bonds."

"I'm surprised you know there's a difference." Emma said.

"I've had run ins." Killian shrugged.

Emma arched a brow. "You're a criminal?"

There wasn't any judgement in her tone.

"Just a minor offense." Killian gave her a small, reassuring smile. "I was going through some shit, just moved to New York, didn't have anyone, so I did something stupid."

Emma appreciated his honesty. "I was a petty criminal. Three years ago, Cleo, my boss tracked me down and managed to give me a second chance."

"That's wonderful, Swan." Killian smiled gently.

Emma ignored the way her heart skipped a beat. She didn't ignore the panic that set in when she realized that they were bonding, unintentionally of course, but that wouldn't do. It took her months to even get to this point with Ruby, and even though she agreed to be civil with Killian, she wasn't ready for a new friend. "I should go get ready for work." She excused herself.

Killian watched her go with a sigh. His new roommate was a skittish one. If she balked this quickly into civil conversation, then it would take time to ease her into friendship. It was a good thing that Killian was a patient man.

* * *

Emma knew that calling Ruby would result in her calls being ignored, which was why Emma was waiting outside of the magazine that Ruby worked for. She'd ambush her friend when she came out for her lunch break. The perks of being roommates and friends meant that Emma knew Ruby's routine and at noon on Thursday Ruby liked to go out to eat at a trendy little cafe.

Emma laid in wait, watching for her prey. Prey that had no idea just how much trouble she was in with her blonde friend. How could Ruby just bail? Was she that desperate to set Emma and Killian up? Admittedly, had she and Killian not had a one night stand under her belt, and had he not been her roommate, Emma would've hooked up with him, but nothing more.

Ruby knew that Emma didn't do relationships, but insisted upon girls night out to scope for guys, or telling Emma about the new cute guy at work, or the cute barista at the Starbucks a few blocks over, etc. etc.

Killian had been the top contender. Emma lost count of the times Ruby, or even Belle, would bring him up in a conversation that would inevitably lead to trying to set them up.

Well, that definitely wouldn't happen now.

* * *

Emma watched the door of the building.

It was almost time for Ruby to come out. Sure enough, the brunette graphic designer walked out, catching eyes in her expensive suit and neck breaking red heels.

Emma pounced, coming up from behind Ruby. "I can't believe you bailed."

Ruby's green eyes widened. "Jeez, you scared the crap out of me." She whacked Emma on the arm. "Don't do that."

"You deserved it." Emma growled, walking at Ruby's side as Ruby headed off. "You can't deny that."

"Belle and I wanted some alone time." Ruby lied.

They were almost to the cafe, and Emma really wasn't in the mood for lunch.

Emma rolled her eyes. "You two live together, you have nothing but alone time. You were setting us up."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Ruby denied, though there was amusement in her eyes.

"I know you, Ruby." Emma said. "Look, I'm just going to tell you that Killian and I met now and we're just going to be roommates, got it? No more set ups."

Ruby sighed, disappointed. "But you two are perfect for each other."

"There's no such thing as perfect." Emma told her. Even as she said it, Emma couldn't help but think about her and Killian's night together, and how perfectly they fit together, and how they connected. She shook her head, trying to shake away the memories. "Killian and I are just roommates, got it?"

Ruby stopped and narrowed her eyes. "Why do you sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that?"

"I…I'm not." Emma sputtered.

"You have something to tell me?" Ruby asked. Her eyes flitted all over Emma's face before meeting Emma's eyes. "You think he's hot, don't you?"

 _Dammit._ Emma cursed.

Ruby had her.

"Objectively, yes." Emma admitted with a growl. "Subjectively, it isn't happening."

Ruby wasn't convinced. "I think that's just fine. You two are just roommates." There was a teasing underlining in her tone.

"I'm serious, Ruby." Emma hissed.

"Okay, okay." Finally Ruby was being serious. "I will cease and desist on Operation Emma's Love Life. Belle and I won't leave you and Killian hanging anymore."

Emma sighed, relieved. "Thank you."

"So, how is Killian working out as a roommate?" Ruby asked.

Emma gave her a sour look.

" _Just_ as a roommate." Ruby corrected.

"He's…okay." Emma shrugged. Really, so far he was great. He was quiet, kept to himself (though the awkward one night stand thing probably kept him away), he could cook, and from what Emma could tell of his room when she peeked in (the door was open) he was neat. So far, he certainly exceeded her expectations. Though she would hold back any higher opinions that she had of him for now. For all she knew, he could be acting like this to woo her. Okay, so she really didn't think that he was doing this all for her, he probably, more than likely, was just like that, but Emma Swan liked her excuses.

"Just okay?" Ruby asked.

"Well, we've been roommates for one night." Emma said. "It'll take a while to get used to him."

Ruby scoffed. "All right, whatever you say."

They reached the cafe.

"Come on, I'll buy you lunch." Ruby said.

Emma shook her head. She really wasn't hungry. "I got to get back before Cleo kills me."

"Please, Cleo adores you." Ruby scoffed.

"I'll see you later, Rubes." Emma said. She headed back up the way they came from to get to her car. As she walked, she thought about Killian, to her annoyance. He seemed to invade her mind every moment. She wished that they hadn't met and slept together; not that she regretted it, it was a special night, but that was only going to make living with him all that much more harder. It was just too tempting to give into the attraction, but she wouldn't. Emma refused to have another relationship. She wasn't going to risk her heart again.

Killian was just her roommate and would only ever be her roommate.

At least that's what she firmly told herself as she made her way back to her bug.

* * *

Belle looked up when lunch was deposited at her table.

Killian sat down with a sigh.

Belle eyed him as she pulled the to-go box over to her, using her other hand to push her books and papers aside. She never asked how Killian always managed to sneak food into places where outside food wasn't welcome. Namely the libraries that Belle haunted.

She was grateful for the Rueben and curly fries though. It was past lunchtime and she had only had a meager breakfast. Caught up in her graduate work, she hadn't caught the time, and it was a testament to how well Killian knew her that he knew where she was and that she'd skipped lunch again. "How was last night?" She asked fishing in the bag for ketchup.

Killian grumbled, stealing one of her fries. "It went okay." He sighed and corrected himself. "It was awkward."

"I expect so." Belle said. "So, what happened?"

 _I learned my roommate was the best sex I ever had._ Killian shook his head. "It was awkward."

Belle grinned cheekily. "You said that already."

Killian stole another fry. "She was…" _Beautiful, breathtaking, hated to see me again, prickly._ "Prickly." It was the best word for now.

"That's Emma." Belle agreed. "She'll warm up to you eventually."

 _Or never_. Killian sighed. He stole another fry.

Belle narrowed her eyes. "Okay, that's the third fry you've stolen in less than five minutes. You never steal that much that quickly."

"So?" Killian swallowed nervously.

"So, you're stress eating." Belle said. "You only do that when you're wound up over something."

"I'm not wound up." Killian huffed. His hand automatically reached for another fry, but he stopped himself.

Belle looked triumphant. Belle placed her chin on her hands as she looked at him. "Come on now. You can tell me the truth. We are best friends after all."

"Don't play the best friend card." Killian grumbled.

"Don't make me annoy you into telling me." Belle said.

"You truly are the little sister I never wanted." Killian huffed.

Belle stuck her tongue out at him before returning her attention to her sandwich. "I will make you talk eventually, Jones."

Killian knew that she was right, but if he were to have any kind of civil relationship with Emma, he needed to feed Belle false information. Or at least a half-truth, but he couldn't say anything just yet. He needed to think. "What are you working on?"

"Changing the subject isn't the smoothest move." Belle arched a brow.

She indulged him anyway and showed him her edits in her graduate thesis as she usually did whenever she made edits on it.

As Killian read in silence, Belle ate her lunch and studied him. He was definitely not being totally honest about his and Emma's meeting last night, but why wouldn't he be? Had Emma been more than prickly? Had Killian stuck his foot in his mouth? Belle had to know. Unlike her girlfriend though, Belle had patience. She'd let it go for now, and then lie in wait and ambush Killian when the time was right.

Like she said, she'd make him talk eventually.

* * *

With all of his things officially unpacked, Killian surveyed his new room. All of the empty boxes were stacked neatly by the door to be taken to recycle later.

His furniture was immaculate, his bed made neatly, and all of his clothes properly folded or hung up and put away. With nothing more to do, he went into the living room to work on his assignments.

He brewed some more coffee and settled in his armchair. Flexing his fingers, he set to work. It was a good distraction from the empty apartment and any lingering thoughts about Emma. He was so in the writing zone, that he didn't realize how late it had gotten. It was nearly dinnertime, so he got up and went in the kitchen to start dinner. He hadn't gone to the grocery store yet as Emma seemed to be low on foodstuff, but he was sure that he could scrounge up something.

He found sliced cheese and butter in the fridge, bread on the counter, and canned tomato soup in the cabinets. Easy enough to work with. Pouring the soup into a pot, Killian set it on medium heat and set out to work on the grilled cheese. He hoped she didn't mind such a meal. Personally, he loved grilled cheese. When he and Liam were on their own after their father left, cheese and bread were cheap, so it was the first thing Liam taught him how to cook in case he ever needed to survive on his own.

Memories of watching Liam, who was barely a teenager himself, carefully instructing him at the stove assailed him.

Over the past five years, Killian's self-imposed exile from Storybrooke had weighed heavily on him. His brother's last words to him before he left town were especially cutting.

 _Maybe you just need to grow up and stop being so selfish._ Liam had said harshly. _When you do, then come and find me._

Killian had been so angry and hurt over their fight, that he had left Storybrooke that night and never looked back. Even more, he'd been so ashamed of himself that he cut off all ties to Liam and the rest of his friends. Reigniting his friendship with Ruby had been more due to Belle than anything else. For the past two years, Ruby had encouraged, but not pushed, him to return to Storybrooke, but he couldn't face Liam. He was sure that his brother hated him now. And what of his friends? Would David be angry that Killian left? They had been as close as brothers and Killian had just stopped talking to him. Would he welcome Killian back? Would Liam?

He shook his head. He doubted they would. He was that coward that had screwed everything up, all because a pretty face turned his head and ripped out his heart.

Now Milah certainly wasn't someone Killian thought about in a while, and he'd like to keep it that way. So instead of dwelling on the woman who turned him against his friends and family and then broke his heart, Killian focused back on the present. The grilled cheeses were done, and the soup hot enough.

Hopefully, Emma would be back soon. She never did say what her hours were, but he doubted in her line of work that there was standard set hours. He fixed her a bowl and plate anyway, covering them with foil to trap the heat. If it grew cold, she could warm them up later.

As he sat down at the bar, chewing his sandwich, he wondered about Emma. She was certainly someone who had been through a lot in her life. While he didn't know anything about her past, it was clear to him that she had walls. Walls that she had let down for a moment when they made love that night before she ran. Now though, the walls were up and reinforced.

While there was a connection between them, Killian was content for now to be friends and just get to know her. The problem was that Emma didn't seem to want that. He was certain that if her name wasn't on the lease, she would've moved out as soon as she found out who he was. The thought alone made his stomach clench uncomfortably. He had thought about her every day since their one night together, and now that she was his roommate, he didn't want to let her go again. He shouldn't have let her go that night, but he hadn't wanted to force her to stay. Not when she was that vulnerable.

He swallowed his sandwich down with effort as he thought about that night again, and how he only wanted to comfort her. Never in his life had he ever been so drawn to someone before. The moment he saw her alone at the bar, he could feel something there. It was as though there was a magnetic field around her, pulling him right in, helpless to stop himself.

She had felt it too, but it had scared her.

What had happened to her to make her walls so high?

When he finished dinner, he cleaned up and made a shopping list for tomorrow, writing down a note on the list to ask Emma what she needed. He returned to his work, and when he deemed himself finished for the night, it was nearing eleven and Emma still wasn't home.

Worry began to collect in his gut, but he focused on his nightly routine instead. Once he was ready for bed, however, he decided that maybe he should try to wait up for her, just to ease his mind and also as a show of support. Perhaps if she knew he was here for her, then she might let him in, if only a tiny bit.

So he settled on the couch and flipped through the television station until he found a movie he could tolerate.

Hopefully, Emma would return soon.

* * *

It was cowardly to accept a stake out job when she and Killian agreed to not avoid each other, but Emma usually took one step forward then two steps back.

Killian even told her that he just wanted to be friends, and Emma still wanted to run. There was something there between them. There had been something the moment she turned around and saw him at the bar. He pulled her right in and instead of running then, she took the plunge and went home with him with every intent on sex and no intention of staying after the act.

The fact that she had scared her more than anything. She had never met anyone like Killian before. No man ever turned her head and kept it turned; certainly no one had ever stayed with her like Killian. Well unless you counted that bastard who she really didn't want to think about.

She didn't want to think about Killian either, but it was hard not to. He was her roommate. How does anyone ever deal with their one night stand becoming their roommate? Then again, Emma doubted that this ever actually happened to people in real life. Maybe in fiction, but not in reality. It was just her luck that it happened to her.

Groaning, she leaned back in her car. How was she going to deal with this Killian issue? They were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. Killian wanted to be friends; Emma wasn't sure how to be friends. Her track records for any type of long term platonic or romantic relationships was less than stellar. Only Ruby, and now Belle, being exceptions, but even then that was too much. Emma had felt deeply hurt when they wanted to move in together and take their relationship to the next level. While she had felt like a third wheel before, it had never been as prominent until Ruby broke the news to her. It was just another reminder of how alone she was.

 _You don't have to be alone_. A treacherous voice in her head spoke. _There's Killian_.

Emma shook her head. No, that could never happen.

 _Why not?_ The voice persisted. _He's willing._

But Emma knew the answer. She was too broken to be loved; too broken to ever be mended again. Her jaw clenched as her eyes watered. Her whole life she was never enough, why would it be any different with a virtual stranger who happened to live with her?

She needed to focus on her job.

Sniffing and wiping her eyes, Emma steeled herself.

There would be time to deal with Killian later.

* * *

Belle groaned as Ruby turned the beside lamp back on.

"Don't you think it's weird?" Ruby asked.

Belle just wanted to sleep. Ever since she came home, Ruby had been on about her encounter with Emma today and how two things were clear: one, Emma did find Killian attractive and two, Emma was hiding something.

Then Belle had made the mistake of telling Ruby that Killian had stopped by the library today, which only launched her girlfriend into an interrogation. Belle had told her that Killian seemed weird like he was hiding something. That had only fueled Ruby's conspiracy theory. Something had happened between Emma and Killian.

Belle wasn't sure how much merit she could give said theory since Ruby had been trying to set Emma and Killian up forever. As it was, her girlfriend was obsessing. "Maybe Emma and Killian just seemed weird because we bailed on them and their first meeting was awkward."

"You were the one who stared talking about christening _our_ apartment." Ruby pouted.

"Yeah, _after_ we introduced Emma and Killian." Belle corrected, glaring up at Ruby. "You were the one who tricked me into the moving van and drove off."

Ruby smirked. "We had fun though , didn't we?"

Belle blushed. "That's not the point. Just leave them be, Ruby." She turned around and snuggled into her pillow.

Ruby huffed, leaning back against the headboard. There was something else going on. She could feel it in her bones. Emma called it her "wolf sense" often comparing Ruby to a dog with a bone. And this bone was just too enticing to let go of. She knew the moment that she met Killian again when he moved here that something had changed in him from the sweet, naive guy she knew back in high school. Ever since then, that something about him had been telling Ruby that he and Emma would just fit together. If only they both stopped being so stubborn about it.

Belle might've been right that it was probably awkward for Emma and Killian to meet without buffers, but with how Emma was earlier, Ruby just knew that something else had happened. She was going to figure it out; she just had to be more subtle than she usually was.

But oh, eventually she was going to sniff out the truth.

"Go to sleep." A tired Belle demanded.

Ruby turned off he lamp and curled around her girlfriend, her thoughts still whirling around her head as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It was way too late or too early. Emma wasn't entirely sure. All she knew was that Cleo had given her tomorrow off to recover from the stakeout and her caffeine high was losing steam. She'd crash soon and she wanted to be in her bed when that happened.

When she reached her apartment door, she paused. She didn't know why she was preparing herself to face Killian when surely he'd be asleep. But she would have to face him eventually. He was right; she couldn't avoid him forever. Honestly, that wasn't fair to either of them. Neither had known who the other was that night. That had been more her fault than his since she had insisted on no names. Taking a breath, Emma unlocked the door as quietly as possible. She didn't know if he was a light sleeper or not, and she didn't want to chance waking him up. When she entered the apartment and shut the door, she turned ready to go to bed when she spotted the television on, the light highlighting a form on the couch.

Immediately, she went on alert, getting ready for fight mode…until she stepped closer and got a better look.

Killian was sleeping on the couch in a very uncomfortable sitting position. His neck was certainly going to feel that when he woke up. Why was he even out here? He had a bed to sleep on. Not wanting to question it, figuring that he fell asleep with the television on, Emma went to the kitchen to grab a quick snack.

Inside the fridge, she found the grilled cheese and tomato soup. She look back at Killian's form. He had made her dinner, and he waited up for her. That was why he was asleep on the couch. He was waiting for her to come home.

Not even Ruby had ever done that.

Something akin to affection unfurled in her heart no matter how hard she tried to squash it down. She set the food back in the fridge and walked over to the couch. Emma winced as she took him in; that position just didn't look good with his head titled that far back. Emma hated to wake him, but she wanted to thank him before she chickened out.

Her hand went to his shoulder and gently, she shook him awake.

His eyes flew open instantly, startled by her presence. He blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and he realized who she was.

Emma had to admit that he looked adorable when he first woke up, before quickly shoving that thought away.

Killian rubbed a hand over his face. "Emma?" He looked at her questioningly. "What time is it?"

"I don't know." She said softly. "You didn't look comfortable sleeping here."

He pushed himself up and winced. Emma was right. He was already feeling the aching muscles in his neck and back. "Thanks for waking me, Swan." Killian gave her a small smile. "I guess we should both head to our beds then."

"Wait." Emma refused to back out this time. He needed to know what he had done was appreciated.

Killian looked at her curiously, waiting for her to continue.

Emma took a breath. "Thank you."

"For what?" Killian was genuinely confused.

"For dinner." Emma mumbled. "For making dinner, for waiting up for me. Also for being okay with the whole starting over thing." She was sure her cheeks were a little red from embarrassment.

Killian gave her a winning smile. "You don't have to thank me for that, Swan. That's just what friends do."

Despite her adamancy at being nothing more than roommates this morning, she felt warmth from Killian referring to her as his friend. "Still, thank you."

Killian ducked his head. "It's no problem." He checked the time on his cell phone. "It's too late and too early to be up. We should head to bed."

Emma nodded.

They walked down the hall together, stopping before their respective bedrooms.

"Goodnight, Emma." His tone was gentle.

Emma gave him a kind smile in return. "Goodnight, Killian."

* * *

 **CS bonding? They're getting better about this roommate thing lol.**

 **Also Ruby is on to them, uh oh.**

 **Next chapter should have a time skip, so we will get closer to Emma finding out about the baby.**

 **Until next time. Hope you guys enjoyed! Reviews are welcome!**


	4. Chapter 4: Connections

**Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT even though it would be awesome if I did.**

 **Alexa asked:** **Emma seems to be warming up to the idea of being friends! Wonder if Belle or Ruby will find first? Hope when Emma finds our about the baby she doesn't hide the truth from Killian."**

It will be interesting to see how things go when she discovers she's pregnant.

 **soapdiva288208** **asked: "** **OMFG, What happened between Liam and Killian ? What the hell did Millah do ? I know these are all spoilers so i will ask, how bad is the damaged on a scale of 1-10 ?"**

They had a falling out thanks to Milah, not that Milah is a bad person, it was just the circumstances. I would say….maybe 7.

 **There's no baby reveal yet here, so to make up for that I give you an attempt at CS slow burn (there are some time skips after all) and some cute Ruby and Belle scenes. This chapter is also super long, which I hope you guys like, because long chapters are good for the fanfic reading soul lol.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and please feel free to leave reviews and ask questions.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Connections**

Emma found herself in the kitchen observing Killian as she sipped her coffee. It had been just over a week since he had moved in and so far things were comfortable. She honestly wasn't sure how to feel about that. On one side of it, the night she had returned from the stakeout had somewhat broken the ice between them, and they fell into a sort of routine. Killian woke up early and started breakfast, Emma joined him, they would make small talk, then Emma would go off to work and Killian would work to meet his deadlines, then she'd come home and they alternated between Emma bringing home takeout and Killian cooking, as well as alternating dishes.

But then there was the other side. The one that had them dancing around each other as though they were on the edge of something that wasn't quite tangible. They were careful of each other, but not sure why. Every time he came near her, she tensed as though anticipating more than just longing looks.

Often enough, she caught him looking at her with these lingering gazes that she didn't want to read into, but she also found herself watching him too. Her thoughts would drift off, thinking only of him and nothing else seemed much to matter. Was it just physical attraction? He was very attractive, and there was definitely a mutual attraction there. There certainly was a leftover spark from their one night together.

Even now, she felt herself flushing a bit, remembering Killian hovering over her, his blue eyes glowing with intensity. Shaking herself, she returned her eyes to the man in front of her, who was furiously typing away at his laptop.

In spite of his gazes, Killian respected her personal space. He often kept a distance between them which Emma greatly appreciated. She didn't trust herself whenever he was close. He kept to himself and he didn't push her; he didn't ask questions about her past or ask for personal information unless it was necessary. All in all, he was the perfect roommate for her.

There was just another problem to add to her list though.

Not only did he invade her waking thoughts, but she kept dreaming about him. That was perhaps the most infuriating thing. Wet dreams of him she could understand; again there was the physical attraction and she knew just how skilled he was in bed. But there were other dreams that unsettled her. Dreams that were more…domestic in nature, and she wasn't sure if that was because he was her roommate or if it was something else.

 _No, it can't be anything else_. She told herself. _It's just his proximity, and seeing him every day._

"Swan?" Killian's voice cut through her thoughts. He was looking at her with some concern, his brow adorably furrowed.

 _He's not adorable_. Emma chided herself. "Yeah?"

"You looked upset." Killian said. He even sounded genuinely concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was just lost in thought." Emma said, trying not to feel affection for him. His concern warmed her in ways that she didn't want to analyze any further. To distract herself from her thoughts, she started up a conversation. "How's the writing going?"

"It's good today." Killian said. He stretched his arms a bit, unintentionally teasing her eyes with a bit of skin where his shirt rose. "Some days are easier than others."

"Writer's block, right?" Emma asked, trying hard to keep her eyes on his face.

"It can be a pain." Killian chuckled. He ran a hand through his hair. "Today is Gal Pal Saturday, right?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah." Gal Pal Saturday: the one day every month that Ruby designated for the three of them to hang out and just be girls. It was one of the times that Emma actually didn't feel like the third wheel with Ruby and Belle. "Are you going to be working all day?"

"Not all day." Killian told her, setting his laptop on the coffee table. "I was just going to finish this up, then go out."

A flare of unexpected jealousy rose up in Emma as an image of Killian out with someone who wasn't her. _Don't be ridiculous. He's not your territory._ "Oh, are you going to meet someone?"

Killian tilted his head, his eyes curious. "No. I don't exactly have other friends." He shrugged. "I prefer to be alone."

 _That sounds familiar._ Emma swallowed, panicking a bit at feeling connected to Killian. "Yeah, I get that."

The understanding look in his eyes made her want to run.

 _Crap_. Emma cursed at revealing too much of herself with so few words.

"I should go." She finished the last of her coffee and headed to the door grabbing her keys and red leather jacket. She had to get out of there before she said something else. Revealing anything more to him was dangerous territory. As she shrugged on her jacket, she glanced at him, finding his brows furrowed as he looked at her.

Killian gave her a small smile, that seemed a bit forced, before turning his attention back to his work. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, later." She nodded, grabbing her purse too.

"Have fun." He replied sincerely.

Her stomach fluttered as his eyes met hers. "Yeah, as long as Ruby doesn't get too crazy." She heard him chuckle in response before she left the apartment.

The elevator ride down felt like forever as her thoughts whirled around. It was probably a good thing for her to get out of the apartment and away from Killian. Maybe some space would give her clarity, and keep her from opening up her heart.

* * *

"Should you really be saying that about your boss?" Belle asked as she looked through some blouses to pair with the navy skirt she found.

They were at a clothing boutique that was thankfully in their price range, and still had clothes that looked tasteful and expensive. Luckily there was a variety too, and not just what was trendy.

Ruby shrugged. "I'm not at work, so I think I can bitch about my boss as long as no one from work is around." Ruby glanced around the store. "And look, no one I know is here."

Emma snorted. Leave it to Ruby to bad mouth someone and then check to be sure no one else heard.

"Sure, laugh." Ruby playfully scoffed. "You have a great boss."

Emma shrugged. "Cleo can be tough."

"Lies." Ruby said. "All lies. Oooh, Belle, this would look so cute on you." She pulled a navy dress with red polka dots and a matching red belt and handed it to Belle.

Belle looked at it with approval, adding it to the pile of clothes she carried.

"What about you, Emma?" Belle asked, looking over at the blonde. "Need a new dress for work?"

"I always need a new dress for work." Emma said as she looked through the racks, wondering if she should stray from her usual colors of red and black. A pink dress caught her eye and she wondered what Killian would say to it, before quickly banishing the thought. "For some reason men think that throwing a drink at me is a good enough distraction for them to make a run for it. I take them to the cleaners, but sometimes even they can't get the stains out."

Ruby scoffed. "Forget getting something to wear to work. Get something for a hot date. A dress that makes a guy's jaw drop."

"Most of my work consists of me going on "hot dates," as you know." Emma picked a black number from the rack, scrutinizing it before replacing it. "Besides, I don't date."

"Yes, that's pretty much your motto." Ruby huffed looking at her. "You know Emma, those walls of yours aren't doing you any favors."

"Ruby." Belle spoke in gentle warning. This wasn't the time or place to get into an argument over Emma's lack of a love life.

Emma wasn't bothered by it too much. She and Ruby had had this argument before. Then again, Ruby didn't know the whole story. Oh, Ruby knew more about Emma's past than anyone else had ever known, but Neal and the baby she gave up were things that Emma still hid. Things that she couldn't talk about with anyone. Emma forced the memories away, instead focusing intently on the clothes in front of her.

"Look, I just bring it up all the time, because I think that you really could find someone who could make you really happy." Ruby said, her tone both pleading and sincere. "Like how Belle makes me feel."

Belle smiled at the sentiment, clearly agreeing with her girlfriend.

"I'm not saying that a woman needs to have a relationship." Ruby continued. "There are many single women out there who are perfectly happy and that's fantastic. But Emma, you aren't one of them. You've had a life that's starved you of love and affection. You need someone in your life to lean on. Someone who you could be completely intimate with on every level. Physical and emotional. You know?"

While Ruby's words rang true, it was uncomfortable to hear. Even worse, when Ruby spoke about intimacy, Emma pictured Killian in her mind and how comfortable it was to live with him, and how he comforted her after her nightmare on their night together. It shook her that she thought of Killian in that moment.

Hurriedly, Emma grabbed a few random dresses. "I'm going to go try these on." She walked away from her friends and found an empty dressing room. Hanging her dresses, she sat down taking deep calming breaths to curtail her panic, hoping that tears wouldn't follow.

Why did it always come back to Killian? Was she crazy? He was her roommate. They had sex one night before they ever knew each other. But they knew each other now and nothing good would happen if they became more than that. They could not, absolutely could not, become a couple. It would only end badly, because of her. She wasn't meant to be loved, and that's how it was meant to be.

More than that, Emma needed to keep her distance from him. They couldn't be roommates forever, and she doubted that she could handle it if he abandoned her too.

* * *

They watched Emma flee to the dressing rooms.

At first, Ruby was tempted to follow her, but then she thought better of it, knowing that Emma would feel better after a moment to herself.

"You pushed her." Belle sighed, giving her girlfriend a chiding look.

"Sometimes she needs a push." Ruby said, paying more attention to the clothes than Belle's disapproval. "What do you think of this number?" Ruby pulled out a red dress and held it against her. "It's a good date night dress, right?"

"Yes, and you'll look gorgeous." Belle said. "Now, stop trying to change the subject."

That only earned a huff from Ruby. "Emma will be fine." Ruby told her. "She just needs a breather."

"Because you pushed." Belle reiterated.

Ruby shrugged. "Like I said, she needs one." Ruby turned to face Belle. "She isn't happy being our third wheel, and setting her up with Killian failed. Emma deserves to be happy, and I think she's been alone so long that she is just used to being unhappy. That's not fair to her. Someone needs to climb those walls and treat her the way she deserves."

"I agree with you completely." Belle said. "But don't you think you need a more subtle approach?"

"I'm having déjà vu." Ruby and Belle had had this conversation many times before. Then again, if Ruby wasn't always pushing Emma then there wouldn't be a need for this conversation to begin with; alas, Ruby dug her own whole.

Belle sighed again. "Maybe Emma will meet someone on her own?" It was a worthy suggestion. Emma was young, single, and lived in a big city. She did go out on her own or with them from time to time. Eventually, she would have to meet someone who caught her eye.

"She never even tries to meet someone." Ruby countered. "Unless it's for one night stands, and believe me, if Emma had a one night stand and met that guy again, she'd run. That's why I push. She just needs to know that dating isn't the end of the world. That there are good guys out there. Like Killian." Ruby sighed wistfully. "If only she'd date Killian."

Belle shook her head, trying not to be amused by her girlfriend's antics. "Her heart might not be ready." Belle said. "There's a reason she's never told us about her past relationships."

"Maybe so." Ruby took another dress off of the rack. "But she can't let some douchebag ex or exes hold that kind of power over her." Her arms full, Ruby turned to face Belle. "Let's go check on her and try these on."

"Just promise me that you won't push her again today?" Bella requested as they headed to the back of the store.

"Fine." Ruby said. "But only for the rest of the day."

Belle chuckled. "That's all I ask."

* * *

Killian walked along the harbor, breathing in the salty air. Being near water always calmed him whenever he was in turmoil, or helped him whenever he just needed a quiet place to sit and think. He had a lot of thinking to do as of late.

After Emma returned home from her stakeout, something between them shifted, but he couldn't help but feel off kilter about it.

It was as if they were both anticipating something, yet holding themselves back.

Was it sexual tension? They were both clearly very attracted to each other. He had even caught Emma checking him out a few times, but he never called her on it. It was obvious that she needed her space, and Killian didn't want to push her if that only made her uncomfortable.

Or was it something else? Was the connection they made on that first night still there and just thrumming under the surface?

He knew that he wanted there to be a connection, but he feared it too. Emma was the first person that he had met since Milah that made him want more than just a one night stand. He felt something with her that he hadn't felt since Milah.

 _Milah_.

God, he thought about her so many times over the past five years. He had known that getting involved with her probably wasn't a good idea, but the allure of a loving relationship was just too much.

Honestly, Killian had never meant for anything to start.

Unfortunately, Killian was much younger and a fool, blinded by her passionate personality and his own physical attraction. Perhaps he was seeking something in Milah that he needed, but she couldn't give.

It had all ended in pain and tears, just as Liam predicted it would.

 _I told you this would happen_ , Liam had said. _She was just using you until her husband beguiled her with his money. She was never going to be with you the way you wanted._

Killian closed his eyes as shame and guilt rose and twisted inside of him.

After the fallout, he couldn't remain in town; he couldn't face any of them anymore. It was unbearable, and he couldn't breathe easy any longer.

Five years later, he hadn't talked to anyone except Ruby, who had been one of the few that sided with him completely on the Milah debacle.

So yeah, he definitely wasn't ready for that.

But was he ready to open his heart again? Milah had crushed it, but Emma made it feel something again.

Their night together had been passionate and intense, and ever since he moved in, he learned little things about Emma that only endeared her to him. Their shared love of grilled cheese for one. Then there was the way that she would bob her head and move a little with music whenever she was in a really good mood. The very specific way her hot chocolate had to be made: milk in a pot on the stove, bring to a boil, stir in the Swiss Miss hot chocolate and cinnamon, then pour it in a mug and put some Reddi Wip on top, then sprinkle more cinnamon on top. He only knew because he offered to make it once and she showed him all of the steps, because apparently making hot chocolate was serious business.

There were other things too; how her nose scrunched up when she didn't like something, how her brow furrowed when she was worried, how her head tilted when she was concentrating or curious about something, and the way that when she was trying not to laugh she couldn't quite hide a smile or when she did laugh her teeth showed as the musical sound left her.

He was utterly smitten by her. He shouldn't be since they were supposed to just be roommates, and Emma wanted nothing more than that. Killian had to respect her wishes, but it was hard to be around her and not have his stomach dancing or his eyes being entranced by her every move.

How did he always fall for women that weren't interested?

Leaning against the safety rails, Killian looked out at the harbor, the wind whipping at his hair.

What was he going to do?

* * *

Emma finished putting away her new clothes and shoes when she heard the door open.

"Swan, you home?" Killian's voice rang out through the apartment.

"Bedroom!" She called out, collecting the now empty shopping bags.

Killian appeared in the open doorway, casually leaning against the frame, crossing his arms over his chest.

Emma averted her eyes. Why did he have to look so damn attractive? He clearly had been out and about too as his hair was a tousled mess. "Where did you go off to?"

"Just down by the harbor." Killian told her. "I like the water. Helps me think."

That surprised her, but she tried not to let it show. The water usually helped her think too. Every place she had lived, she had always found a beach or a lake or a river to be her thinking spot. Since living in Boston, the harbor was the best thinking spot around. "That's nice. Writer's block?"

"No." Killian looked nervous, and his arms tightened.

Emma figured he was trying not to scratch his ear. It was a cute little nervous tic. Everything he did was cute. The way his eyebrows were so expressive for one. Like when he was joking, they would waggle or when he was surprised they would both rise up. Then there was how he tilted his head a bit when he was confused. How his tongue would poke out when he was in his writing zone and focused. How he remembered little things like how she liked her coffee, that grilled cheese was her favorite, how she preferred cherry pop tarts above the others. Cute little things that made her heart ache and sent her stomach in a flutter.

Pushing aside her thoughts, Emma focused on the man before her. "What's for dinner tonight?"

"I was thinking pizza, beer, and a movie." Killian said.

"Cool." Emma agreed. "There's a good pizza place a couple of blocks over. They know my usual. What would you like?"

"Pepperoni is fine." Killian said. "You want to pick the movie?"

"Surprise me." Emma said, already picking up her cell phone and dialing the pizza place.

Thirty minutes later the pizza arrived and _The Princess Bride_ began to play on the screen.

"So, _The Princess Bride_?" Emma arched a brow, though she couldn't fight the smile that broke out on her face. It was, after all, her all time favorite movie.

The man beside her reddened. "Uh, yeah. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart."

"That's not a bad thing." Emma reassured. In fact, it was just one more endearing quality to add to the growing list of endearing things about Killian Jones.

Killian smiled at her before turning his focus to the movie. "You have to give Westley some props for dedication to her."

"You think so?" Emma asked.

"Clearly he was in love with her before she was in love with him." Killian said. "Even when it was clear that she had feelings for him but didn't realize it, he stuck around."

"It's sweet." Emma agreed as they came to the scene where Westley was telling Buttercup goodbye. As Westley allayed Buttercup's fears and spoke of True Love, Emma frowned. This was certainly the movie that made her believe in such love, but that was years ago, when she was young and innocent. After Neal, she knew that True Love was never in the cards for her.

So lost in her own thoughts, Emma didn't notice Killian looking at her at Westley's line about True Love.

Emma felt for Buttercup when she found out that Westley had died. Love only caused pain after all, so why should she love again? Emma shook her head, and tried to focus on the movie.

"Ugh, Vizzini." Killian scoffed, earning a snort from Emma. "He was very annoying."

"At least he gets killed off." Emma said. "I always felt bad for poor Fezzik. He's not as stupid as everyone seems to think."

Killian nodded in agreement, unable to speak since he was biting into his pizza.

Emma glanced at him just in time to see his tongue dart out to lick some stray sauce from his lips. Her eyes darted back to the screen as she took a sip of her beer.

As the movie continued, Emma and Killian laughed and tensed at all the right parts, throwing in their own commentary here and there.

Emma honestly had never had as much fun watching a movie before. Even with Ruby and Belle, watching movies wasn't as fun, mostly due to third wheel awkwardness. But this, with Killian here, it was relaxing and Emma was enjoying his little comments to every other scene.

Unbeknownst to her, Killian too was having a good time. Even with Belle and Ruby being in his life, he often kept to himself and was resistant to hanging out. Sitting here with Emma, both of them enjoying one of his top five movies, it was nice. It had been too long since he just hung out with someone and genuinely enjoyed their company without worry of not being sociable enough.

Perhaps they were becoming friends after all.

As the movie, and their commentary, continued, Emma's face hurt from smiling so much. For the first time, bonding with someone didn't seem so scary, and that usual panic, that so often reared up in moments like this, was absent. For once, Emma wasn't running.

* * *

Ruby was on her lunch break, playing with some designs for her portfolio, when her cell phone buzzed. Seeing the name on the screen, Ruby winced.

Mary Margaret had been her best friend through childhood up to college, but these past few weeks, blissful in her new relationship status and busy at work, Ruby hadn't called Mary Margaret as often as she usually did.

"Hey Mare." Ruby greeted. "How's it going?"

" _Really good actually._ " Mary Margaret said.

Ruby knew Mary Margaret so well that she could practically feel the excitement on the other line. "Oh, is that charming husband of yours living up to his nickname?"

Mary Margaret laughed. " _You know he always does. He also hates that nickname._ "

"Blame Killian for that one." Ruby said without thinking. She stiffened when she realized what she said. Mary Margaret and David had both taken Killian's leaving and lack of contact hard.

" _We miss him_." Mary Margaret sighed.

"I know." Ruby said. "I've tried to get him to call, but he's very stubborn."

" _We are very aware._ " Mary Margaret chuckled. " _Speaking of Killian, since he won't call, could you tell him my news?_ "

"Is that why you called?" Ruby's tone was light. "Making me your messenger pigeon?"

" _Well I was calling you to tell you._ " Mary Margaret said. " _Telling Killian is just a bonus_."

Ruby let out a playful scoff. "So, what's your news girl?"

There was a beat before Mary Margaret screeched. " _I'm pregnant!_ "

"Oh my God!" Ruby squealed. "That's great!"

David and Mary Margaret had been married practically as soon as they got out of high school, but they had been putting off having kids until they were ready.

" _Isn't it?_ " Mary Margaret said. " _Ruth is very excited of course. Probably more than me and David_."

Ruby chuckled. "She and Granny are probably going to raid the craft store now. They'll buyout all the yarn for that kid of yours."

" _Probably._ " Mary Margaret said. " _David and I will be up to our necks in booties and baby blankets._ "

"So true." Ruby's smile was starting to hurt. "Congratulations, really. You and David are going to be amazing parents."

" _We're just so excited._ " Mary Margaret let out a bubbly laugh. " _Neither of us can stop smiling. Anyway, just pass the news on to Killian. We'd love it if he could come visit. You and Belle too._ "

Mary Margaret had been pushing for Ruby to bring Belle back to Storybrooke for a while now, but neither Ruby nor Belle's schedules had been open enough.

"Whenever your first baby shower is, Belle and I will be there." Ruby promised. "I can't promise anything with Killian though."

" _As long as you try, that'll be enough_." It was a lie, but Mary Margaret knew better than to expect anything with Killian.

"Who knows, maybe he will come back?" Ruby said. "It's your and David's kid after all."

" _Maybe, but then again that might be too hard for him_." Mary Margaret said. " _Is he still…has he moved on?_ "

"Not really." Ruby sighed. "I have a friend who's perfect for him, but their both stubborn. But who knows, maybe he'll find someone."

" _Who's your friend?_ "

"Emma Swan." Ruby said. "But so far it's a no go between them."

" _At least you tried._ " Mary Margaret said. " _Oh, Ruth's calling. Tell Killian we love him and miss him, and that we hope to see him soon._ "

"I will." Ruby said.

Mary Margaret hung up.

Ruby was truly happy for her friends, but she really hoped that Killian didn't take the news too hard.

* * *

Belle entered Emma and Killian's apartment with her key, looking for Killian. She needed him to read over some drafts and edit them before she submitted them to her professors. "Killian, you here?"

"Nope." Emma said, coming out of the bathroom. "He had a meeting, but I guess it's running late. I just got home."

"Okay." Belle said. "Do you mind if I wait? I'd email him these drafts, but I prefer to talk in person after he edits. It's easier to make notes and figure things out."

"Yeah, sure." Emma smiled. "I was just about to order some dinner and watch some t.v."

Belle settled in on the couch with her papers and laptop.

"I think I'll get Indian tonight." Emma told her. "Do you know what Killian likes?"

"Anything with lamb." Belle said. "Ooh, if you're ordering from that place over by the bookstore, he loves their lamb coconut curry."

"What about you?" Emma asked.

"Oh don't worry about me." Belle waved her off, not wanting to impose.

"Belle, you're eating." Emma told her, giving her a look. "Besides, I have a feeling that these editing sessions run long."

Belle knew that she had a point, and these editing sessions did in fact last some hours long. "Chicken Korma."

As Emma called in the order, Belle thought over how Emma had been on Saturday. After some time to herself, Emma had returned, composed, but for the rest of the afternoon, Emma had been lost in her thoughts. It had only made Belle curious, especially when Emma had tensed every time that Killian was mentioned in conversation.

When Emma hung up after placing the order, Belle saw her chance to sate her curiosity. "Hey, Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you and Killian getting on all right?" Belle asked. She knew that Killian was a great roommate and a perfect gentleman, but there was something working in her brain; she could feel that there was more to know regarding her two friends.

"Yeah, we've been good." Emma said with a kind smile. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious." Belle said. "He's a good roommate."

Emma's expression turned soft. "He is."

Belle noted Emma's soft look with keen interest. "So you guys broke the ice?"

"We did." Emma said, joining Belle on the couch. "He's been great, really." Emma smiled as she remembered their movie night and how Killian insisted that it should become a tradition. She had never had traditions before until Belle and Ruby, but it felt different having a tradition with Killian. There was more to it that she wasn't quite sure of, but some small part of her wanted to find out.

Belle couldn't help but wonder about Emma's demeanor. She had never seen Emma so comfortable before and they were just talking about Killian. _Wait? Could it be that she..? Could they…_

An idea sparked in Belle's mind, one that could prove her already working theory about Emma and Killian's relationship. Or at least, she hoped that it would prove her right. "That's good." Belle said. "Ruby still thinks that you and Killian are a good match." _Careful now, Belle. You're entering dangerous territory._

"Belle." Emma sighed, her face dropping as her shoulders slumped. "I already told Ruby that's not going to happen." It couldn't happen; not with him. Emma couldn't risk it.

"I know." Belle reassured. "But I do think that Ruby has a point. You deserve to be happy, and you need to give dating a chance." Belle took Emma's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "There are good guys out there."

Emma suddenly found the coffee table very interesting. She knew that Ruby and Belle had good points, and she wasn't happy being alone. Her head was just too scared to risk her heart. It was hard enough to let friends in, but to let someone in who could love her? Someone who could hold her heart? It was too dangerous.

"How about baby steps?" Belle offered, hoping to find a compromise that Emma would be comfortable with. "There's a grad student I know. He's a nice guy, so one date won't hurt, right?" Okay, so the guy she was thinking of wasn't nice, but setting Emma up was just a part of her plan, not meant to be a long term thing.

"I don't know." Emma hesitated. Though Belle did have a point. It would only be just one little date, right? Nice guy or not, it's not like Emma was required to like the guy. She didn't even have to see him again after the date.

"Just one date." Belle said. "Friday night, and if it's not working out, Ruby and I will bail you out."

An image of Killian floated in Emma's mind, but she quickly pushed it away. There couldn't be anything between them. Belle was right.

It would only be one little date.

* * *

"So don't freak out." Belle said as Ruby came into the bedroom after finishing her nightly ritual.

"Freak out about what?" Ruby asked, climbing on the bed. "Did you increase your workload again? Or did another TA hit on you?" Ruby gasped mockingly. "Oh God, did you eat the last of my Valentine's candy?" Though, eating her candy would be the one thing that Ruby wouldn't be able to forgive.

Belle rolled her eyes, a smile gracing her face. "None of the above, and for the record, _you_ ate all of your candy and the last of mine." Luckily, Belle was much more forgiving than Ruby.

"You don't even like the cream filled ones." Ruby objected, careful not to mention that she ate Belle's last coconut filled one. "I was doing you a favor."

"A true favor would be giving me your coconut filled ones, you candy hog." Belle huffed, though she was still smiling.

"So what am I about to freak out about?" Ruby asked. It must've been something good, because Belle had seemed a bit worried earlier.

Belle hesitated. "Okay, but it's for everyone's own good."

"What is?" Now it really had to be good. It made Ruby all the more curious.

"I convinced Emma to go out on a date." Belle winced, already preparing herself for Ruby's reaction.

Ruby whipped her head towards Belle, her jaw agape. "You did what? How? What?"

Belle shrugged. "I just used your words against her but pushed her gently."

"But, how?" Ruby clearly in shock couldn't properly form coherency. "But, but, she…we are talking about Emma Swan, right? The Emma Swan?"

"Yes." Belle said. "That's not the point. The point is that she has a date on Friday."

"With who?" Ruby asked, still trying to process the fact that Emma was willingly going out on a date. A real, actual date.

"Oh that Isaac guy." Belle said with a shrug.

Ruby snorted. "The weird guy who's full of himself? They won't get past the appetizers."

Belle hummed noncommittally. That was exactly her hope.

That caused Ruby to narrow her eyes. "Wait a second. Are you playing at something here, French?"

"I don't know what you mean." Belle turned away to turn off the bedside lamp.

"You know that Isaac won't have a chance with Emma." Ruby stated. "You're playing at something. The question is why?"

"Let that haunt your dreams." Belle told her with a smirk. "Because I'm going to bed."

"You can't leave me hanging." Ruby cuddled up to Belle. "Come on, babe. Please tell me?"

Belle turned around and faced her girlfriend. "I won't. Goodnight." She pecked Ruby's lips, but before she could turn back around, Ruby pinned her to the mattress.

"Oh, I think I can get the answer out of you." Ruby smirked playfully.

"You won't." Belle challenged even as she felt Ruby's hands on her hips, sliding her nightgown up.

Ruby moved down the bed, slowly removing Belle's panties. "Oh honey, you're going to tell me everything."

* * *

Killian returned home and heard the shower running. His heartbeat skipped at the thought of Emma naked and wet, but he quickly banished the images away. Emma wished to remain friends, and he had to respect that no matter how much he fantasized about her.

He really should stop fantasizing about her, but it was more difficult than he anticipated; she invaded every thought and every dream. Though he gave her some space, he needed that space too. Whenever Emma was around him, Killian felt as though he were losing himself in her, unable to help looking at her, longing to kiss her again, aching to hold her in his arms.

 _There you go again, Jones_. Shaking away those thoughts, Killian focused on shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes by the door.

It was Friday night, and he didn't have any plans, nor did Emma as far as he was aware. Perhaps he could entice her to another movie night. They had had a lot of fun watching _The Princess Bride_ , but the past week hadn't allowed for their schedules to coincide. He either wrote late into the night to keep up with deadlines, or she'd have a stakeout or be in bed early too tired from the day. And he would ensure that a respectable distance was kept once again.

He put his laptop bag in his room, before heading to the bathroom to knock on the door and ask Emma what she wanted for dinner, when the bathroom door opened.

Both he and Emma froze after nearly running into each other, but what kept him speechless was that she was clad only in a short, terry-cloth robe.

 _Bloody hell._ He swallowed, his eyes raking over her bare, freshly shaven legs.

"Killian." She seemed surprised to see him despite the fact that he lived here. _Crap, crap, crap. What is he doing here?_

"Swan." Killian moved his eyes to her face quickly, feeling his ears grow warm. "I just got home, and I was wondering what you'd like for dinner."

Her brows furrowed as she frowned. _Great, now I can't avoid it. I have to tell him._ "Yeah, about that." She walked past him to her room, leaving Killian no choice but to follow. _Not that I could hide it from him. He'd notice if I wasn't home and came back without alcohol on my dress._ Not to mention that she was pretty sure she had told Killian that she had tonight off from work, so he wouldn't have bought it if she lied and said she had a skip. Or would he? Maybe she got called in?

 _Get real, Emma_. She snapped at herself. _He's a grown man, and there's nothing going on between the two of you. So what if you have a real date?_

He stopped in her doorway, unwilling to enter her space uninvited, wondering why she seemed so on edge.

Emma stopped in front of her closet and started looking through her dresses. She wanted to put off telling him, but she was already close to running late. "I kind of have a date tonight." She told him, unable to look at him as she said the words. _It's not a big deal. It's just one date._

Killian tilted his head, confused and wondering why she'd be hesitant to tell him. "For work?" That was usually her go to with skips. Lure them out on a date and then slam them with the handcuffs. Though it didn't make sense as to why Emma wouldn't want to tell him. She was usually nonchalant about her skips.

Emma glanced at him. "No. A real date. Belle set it up." Her eyes bore into him, watching carefully as his confusion turned to hurt.

His heart dropped into his stomach and Killian suddenly found it hard to breathe. _A date? She has a date?_ But hadn't she told him that she didn't date? It was only ever one night stands?

 _Maybe she just told you that to get you off her back,_ a dark voice in the back of his mind spoke. _Women don't love you, you're just a pretty face they can use._

Killian closed his eyes, trying to block out the darker side of his thoughts.

"Killian?"

He looked up at her, hearing the uncertainty in her voice.

She looked a little lost herself.

Killian forced a smile. "That's good." The knot in his stomach disagreed with him. "You should get back out there." His entire body was tensing up, even as he tried to play it off. "You deserve to find someone worthy of you."

 _That man certainly isn't me._

Emma turned her attention back to her closet, trying to push the wounded look on his face out of her mind. There was no reason for him to feel hurt, right? They were just roommates.

"Red's fetching on you." Killian said quietly.

Emma turned to face him, but he already left, leaving her flushed.

She had been wearing a red blouse and red lingerie the night that they had met.

She pulled a simple black dress from the closet and unattractive beige bra and panties from her dresser. It's not like anything was going to happen tonight anyway.

 _I have to go on this date._ Emma told herself. _If only to prove that there's nothing between me and Killian._

* * *

Isaac Heller was perhaps the most boring, self-absorbed person that Emma had ever met. He couldn't stop talking about himself and how he'd be the next Stephen King or George R.R. Martin.

Personally, Emma wasn't a fan of either, but she couldn't tell Isaac that since he wouldn't let her get a word in at all. Even when they ordered, he had tried to order for her, before Emma took control of the situation. He hadn't even asked one question about her. They met, he asked if she was indeed Emma and then he was off boosting his own image.

Seriously, where did this guy get off? Was he that insecure or just that full of himself?

Either way, this was one of the least enjoyable dates Emma had ever been on. Why would Belle even set her up with this guy? Belle knew her better than this and Belle wasn't one to be blinded by people's charm, usually seeing through them. There was no way that Belle didn't know that this date would be a bust. Emma and Isaac were totally incompatible.

Then again, maybe Belle did know that and she was giving Emma an out. After all they had agreed on Emma taking baby steps and that it would only be one date. So maybe setting her up on this date was just Belle's way of helping her do that? Maybe Belle didn't intend for Emma to like Isaac? But then again, Belle said that she wanted Emma to be happy, so why not set up a date with a guy that Emma might actually like? Someone that actually had a chance?

Not to mention the fact that this date wasn't making Emma's views on dating more positive. If anything, the date only furthered her opinion that dating sucked. Especially when guys like Isaac existed.

She wished that she had just stayed at home and watched a movie with Killian. The thought of him cheered Emma's mood a bit.

Killian certainly wasn't Isaac. Probably the exact opposite, in fact. Where Isaac boasted of his talents in writing, Killian never spoke about his work all that much except for the basics of writing. Never had she heard Killian praise himself. There was also the fact that Isaac wouldn't stop talking and didn't want to get to know her while Killian would rather listen and get to know her without pushing. Killian definitely wasn't pushy, but Emma could tell that Isaac was, even if he hadn't asked her about herself yet.

 _What am I even doing here?_ She thought as she pushed the food around on her plate.

The restaurant was nice, and the food was great, but listening to Isaac's nonstop chatter had pretty much chased Emma's appetite away. She was tempted to order another glass of wine, but she didn't want to risk her sobriety on a half-empty stomach.

Realizing that she had completely zoned out on him, Emma refocussed herself and tried to pay attention, but the man was still going on about writing. Apparently he was working on a novel that would blow his creative writing teachers away.

Emma doubted it, and she hadn't even seen his writing. Belle had told her often enough that all writing went through draft after draft, and that even the finished project was never perfect.

 _I shouldn't be here._ Emma sighed internally. _I should be home, on the couch, deep into Chinese or whatever Killian cooked tonight. We could be watching a movie right now._ God, she wanted so badly to be home in comfortable clothes, barefoot and full, and having a good time with Killian.

This Isaac guy wasn't worth the effort that she put into this date.

"Isaac." Emma interrupted. It was time to leave. "This isn't going to work." She stood grabbing her jacket and her purse.

"Wait, where are you going?" Isaac asked, confused at the abrupt change.

"I'm going home." Emma said, pulling her jacket on. "This date just hasn't really been fun. I'm sorry. Have a good night." She walked away, ignoring Isaac calling out to her for her to pay for her dinner.

 _Seriously, where did he get off?_

* * *

As hard as he tried to focus on the movie, Killian couldn't get his mind off of Emma and the fact that she was on a date. A date with a man that was probably perfect for her. Someone that she could open her heart up to, and it wasn't him.

Killian groaned. _Enough. So Emma's on a date? She doesn't belong to you. She's a single woman, and she deserves to find happiness._

 _Unlike you._

Killian closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the couch. He didn't deserve to find happiness; after all, he was the one who left everyone behind, because he was selfish. It had hurt too much for him to stay, and this loneliness was his punishment. Love was nothing but pain and torment.

It was why he didn't try to date anymore. He didn't want to end up ensnared by someone who'd take his heart and not care for him. Not again.

At least, that was the plan until Emma came along. She had been a whirlwind crashing into his life, one that he'd gladly let swallow him whole. He was willing to take a chance, but the very fact that he was also scared him. Already, he had growing feelings for her where she had none and that gave her a lot of power even if she didn't know it. It was a sobering thought. Would she break him too if he gave her his heart?

The door opened, startling him.

Emma walked in kicking off her heels. "Hey."

"Hey." Killian blinked, surprised to see her home so early. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here." She remarked with a teasing smirk.

Killian couldn't help but smile back. "I meant that it's early and you had a date."

Emma shrugged. "Date was a bust." _I couldn't stop comparing him to you._ Though she wasn't going to let Killian know that. Her heart and her head had been at war the entire way home. Should she just give in and give Killian a chance or was it just too risky? Things were going well between her and Killian. They might be becoming friends and Emma wasn't keen on throwing a spanner into that. He deserved better than her anyway.

"Ah, so he didn't meet Emma Swan's standards?" He teased. Secretly, Killian was ecstatic that the date hadn't worked out. _You idiot. How can you be happy about this?_

Emma snorted as she hung up her jacket. "The guy wouldn't have met the lowest standards. He kept talking about himself and then tried to make me pay for food I didn't end up eating. I'm starving by the way."

"I made some chicken teriyaki with broccoli." Killian told her. "It's in the fridge."

"Cool." Emma walked further into the apartment. "I'm going to change, then we're going to find a movie and have a night in."

As he watched her head into her bedroom, Killian's heart pounded in his chest. Emma wanted to hang out with him? After a disappointing date? Did she want his company or did she feel that she had no choice? Was he reading too much into this? He was probably reading too much into this.

His internal debate on the matter was interrupted by Emma returning, now dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants with all of her makeup removed. He watched her move to the kitchen heading straight to the fridge for the leftovers.

As she popped the food in the microwave, curiosity got the better of him. "Was the food at the restaurant bad?"

"No." Emma said taking a Coke from the fridge. "It was good from what little I ate. I just lost my appetite early on."

Killian grimaced. "He was that bad."

 _He wasn't you._ Emma berated herself for the thought, but it was true.

Killian watched as conflict in her eyes before something seemed to snap in her.

"He was just so narcissistic." She started, sounding annoyed. "From the minute we met to when I left it all I heard was how he was going to be the greatest writer of our generation. How he'd break records for the best seller lists. How he'd be richer than J.K. Rowling. It's like how much of an ego can one person have?"

Having never seen the rambling side of Emma before, Killian was slightly taken aback before grinning. Was this a side of Emma that only her friends were privy to? Were they friends?

Emma took her food from the microwave and joined him on the couch, sitting closer to him than she would have normally dared. "I mean what guy talks about the fame and glory he's yet to achieve for nearly two hours! I've been on terrible dates before where guys talk on and on about their life story, but this was like some whole other level of either narcissism or covering up some deep seated insecurities!"

He couldn't help it, really, because her face was flushed and her nose scrunched up in her adorable way, her brows furrowed with indignation: he laughed.

Emma ceased her ranting, startled by his laughter. It certainly wasn't the reaction that she expected, but more than that, it was the first time she had heard him laugh before. Sure he chuckled, but his laugh was so different. It was a deep and hearty laugh that began in his gut and worked its way up through him, forcing his head back and his mouth to widen in a broad happy expression. It was a sound that Emma found she wanted to hear again. She couldn't help but smile at him, playfully hitting his arm. "It's not funny."

Killian struggled to recover. "You're right." A smaller laugh escaped. "I'm sorry." He cleared his throat and managed to compose himself the best he could, that broad grin remaining on his face. "It's really not funny how he treated you, but I've never seen you rant before. It's adorable."

A blush dominance's her face, both from embarrassment at his words and naturally reacting to his compliment. "I'm not adorable." She huffed.

"Cute, then?" He boldly teased.

Another huff escaped her, but she was still smiling. She grabbed the remote from him, ignoring the tingling her fingers felt from brushing against his. "My turn to pick the movie."

* * *

A text came in on Belle's phone as she cooked breakfast.

"Ugh, if it's that Isaac guy again, tell him to leave you alone or we'll file harassment charges." Ruby grumbled, sipping her coffee.

Isaac had blown Belle's phone up last night with texts about how rude Emma had been and how Belle was going to collect money for Emma for her part of the dinner bill. Belle had politely texted back and apologized, though insincere since she knew the date wouldn't end well, on Emma's behalf citing that it was unusual behavior on Emma's part.

That hadn't silenced the incensed Isaac, forcing Belle to ignore the rest of his texts.

Belle reluctantly checked the notification and was relieved that it was from Emma. "It's Emma."

"Thank, God." Ruby said. "What's she got to say for herself?"

 **Hey Belle. Sorry I bailed on Isaac.**

Belle quickly shot a text back. **That's okay.**

"She's sorry." Belle said. "There's nothing to apologize for though. Isaac is a jerk."

Ruby narrowed her eyes. "You still haven't said what you're up to."

"Despite your valiant efforts." Belle shot her a cheeky smile as the phone buzzed again.

 **I do feel bad, but it just didn't click.** Emma's response said.

Belle wanted to laugh. Leaving mid-date was more than just a reaction to the lack of sparks. **It's fine, Emma. Honestly, he's apparently a jerk anyway.**

 **Uh oh?**

 **Don't worry about it.** Belle reassured her friend. Besides, Belle could handle Isaac, and if she couldn't, well it was a good thing that Ruby was a violently protective girlfriend.

 **Still. He wasn't bad, just annoying. Hanging with Killian was more fun.**

Her eyes read over the message twice. Mentioning hanging out with Killian in a text? That was very interesting. Though Belle wasn't sure if that proved her theory or if Emma considered Killian a friend. She wasn't sure which side to lean towards, but she did know that it took Emma quite a while to warm up to people and it was very clear that Emma warmed up to Killian very quickly. Too quickly, perhaps? Belle couldn't say for sure. Careful of her words, Belle decided to pry.

 **Oh? What did you guys do?**

 **Just watched a movie.** Was Emma innocuous response.

"You have a look." Ruby told her, munching on the finished bacon.

"What kind of look?" Belle asked as she texted Emma back.

 **Sounds like fun. What movie?**

"The kind of look when you're researching a paper and you're starting to figure out what you're writing." Ruby explained. "You get the same look when you read a book and you piece together the plot before the end."

 **Empire Strikes Back. You didn't tell me he was such a geek! He quoted the whole movie!**

That did get a laugh from Belle, who showed it to Ruby.

Ruby laughed too. "Just wait for when they both find out they're Potterheads."

"Ooh, I should throw that out there." Belle said.

 **Just wait. Watch Prisoner of Azkaban with him.**

Emma's response was immediate. **What?! He's a Potterhead?!**

 **Hufflepuff to boot.**

"Yep, that got her attention." Belle hummed.

Ruby narrowed her eyes. "You will tell me what you're up to."

"You will let it go." Belle shot back.

"I could if I would but I can't so I shan't." Ruby rhymed. "Should I annoy it out of you? After all sex and begging didn't work, so I don't have a lot to work with."

"When did you beg?" Belle asked. "I clearly remember the sex, but I think I was begging you for more. You, however, didn't beg."

"Would begging work?" Ruby perked up.

"Nope." Belle popped the 'p' and are the last bite of her breakfast.

"Please, please, please." Ruby pouted.

"Nope." Belle scurried back to their bedroom, Ruby hot on her heels.

Ruby tackled a giggling Belle onto the bed, attacking her with kisses. "Tell me, tell me, tell me."

"Never." Belle laughed, trying to wriggle away. "You'll never break me!"

"Yes, I will!" Ruby cackled. "Victory will be mine!"

"Never!" Belle managed to roll Ruby off of her and grabbed a pillow. "Back off, monster!"

Ruby playfully snarled. "I'll get you my pretty and your little pillow too!"

"I'm not even going to ask." Killian's voice surprised them both. They turned and saw Killian standing in the doorway of the bedroom, brow arched. Sweating and sporting running clothes, it was clear he had been on a run. "Sorry to interrupt, but Emma texted me to ask you both to a movie night at our apartment. Apparently neither of you were answering her."

"I was busy attacking my girlfriend." Ruby shrugged with a grin.

"I was busy defending myself with a pillow." Belle explained.

Killian shook his head, before walking away. "Be at ours by seven!" He called back.

When they heard the door shut, the couple erupted into giggles.

"So we going?" Ruby asked.

Belle thought over her theory. Time to see if she was right. "Yep."

* * *

Emma entered the apartment carrying a brown paper sack of wine bottles for movie night tonight. "Killian?"

Her roommate was no where to be seen, but Emma smelled food cooking in the empty kitchen.

Killian had insisted on making homemade pizzas tonight and from the looks of it, he was successful and the pizzas were cooking in the oven, the timer counting down until they were ready.

She went down the hall looking for the home chef. "Killian?"

Peaking in his room, she found that he wasn't there either. When she turned around, she crashed into something hard, and hands landed on her hips, steadying her. Her eyes stayed forward, facing Killian's bare chest, a hand instinctively rising up to rest over the wispy dark curls.

Killian breathed sharply, looking down at Emma, seeing her eyes glaze over as she stared at his chest. He swallowed hard, and spoke, if only to keep himself from making a mistake. "There was an issue with the pizza sauce. I had to get the stain out."

She heard his words, but her mind was focused on how soft yet coarse his chest hair was against the palm of her hand, vividly recalling how it felt brushing against her that night.

"Emma?" Killian needed her to look up at him. If she didn't, he was going to do something they'd probably regret.

Emma looked up, meeting his eyes, losing her breath at the intensity in them. They looked at each other, not speaking, breathing slowly as the air crackled between them. "Killian." His name escaped her breathlessly.

Her lips were on his before either of them could form a conscious thought. A hand found itself behind his neck, pulling him closer. They stumbled back into Killian's bedroom.

His hands tightened on her hips, pulling her closer, kissing her desperately. He had dreamed of this moment for a month, wishing that he could have her in his arms again and show her how he felt, and here she was kissing him. Emma was _kissing_ him.

Emma didn't think as she ran her hands through his hair, pulling him to her, desperate to taste him. Her mouth opened for him, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

When Emma moaned into the kiss, Killian's hands slipped under the hem of her shirt, finding her warm, bare skin, his fingers tenderly teasing a path along her spine. His lungs were burning for air, but he could care less as they fell onto his bed.

"Hey guys, we're here!" Ruby called out. "We brought pie!"

Instantly, Emma pushed Killian off of her and stood up. Her breathing shaky, Emma knew that she must look flushed, and Ruby and Belle couldn't find them like this. Especially with Killian still shirtless, on his bed, a noticeable bulge in his pants.

"Coming!" Emma called out. She looked back at Killian, who was staring up at the ceiling. Emma wasn't sure if he was trying to calm himself, or if he couldn't look at her. "Put a shirt on and wait a few minutes." She told him quietly.

Killian swallowed. "As you wish."

Emma tried not to read into his words as she headed to the bathroom to make sure she didn't look like she didn't just make out with her roommate.

Killian pushed himself off the bed and walked over to his dresser, grabbing the first t-shirt he could. Once he pulled it on, he looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. What the hell did he just do?

 _Screw everything up, that's what._

"Hey." Ruby knocked on the doorframe as she entered the room.

Killian turned towards her. "Hey."

"You okay?" Ruby asked.

"Fine." Killian ran a hand through his hair. "What's up?"

A nervous expression crossed Ruby's face. "Well, I have some news."

"Bad news?" He asked, noting her tone.

"Not bad." Ruby shrugged. "I'm just not sure how you'll take it."

That was enough to make Killian wary, his emotions already all over the place after what just happened with Emma. "Just rip the bandaid off then."

Ruby took a breath. "Mary Margaret called."

He stiffened up, anxiety throwing itself into his tumultuous emotions. "Oh?"

"She's pregnant."

It was as though his entire body was shocked by static electricity. His best friends were going to have a baby. Ex-best friends. _Who's fault is that?_ Killian shook his head lightly. "That's…great."

"She wanted you to know." Ruby continued. "They miss you."

That was just another punch to the gut. He didn't want to hear about how people missed him; he didn't deserve it.

"Pizza's ready!" Emma called out.

Killian was glad for the interruption. He wasn't keen to have the conversation that would inevitably follow. Killian left the room, Ruby trailing behind.

As he entered the living room, his eyes automatically found Emma.

Her eyes flicked to him, before focusing on her pizza.

His heart ached at the thought of Emma avoiding him, because he screwed up.

 _Isn't that what you always do? You always ruin everything._

Killian put on a smile and greeted Belle, before grabbing pizza and a glass of wine, wishing it was rum.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Emma tried hard to focus on the movie, but her eyes kept finding Killian.

He had opted to sit in his armchair while they watched the movie; Belle and Ruby were curled up together on one side of the couch, leaving the rest of the couch for Emma.

It was clear to her that he hadn't paid any attention to the movie at all, lost in his own thoughts. There were no comments made on his part, his eyes staring off into space.

Emma wasn't any better, not talking at all, worried about him and what she had done. God, she had fucked up big time.

Belle and Ruby seemed to pick up on the tension too, trying to make funny and snarky comments and trying and failing to get Emma and Killian to participate. This was supposed to be a night of hanging out and having a good time, but it was all too tense.

Eventually, Ruby and Belle fell quiet as well.

Belle was looming between Emma and Killian, wondering if something had happened before she and Ruby arrived since Killian was brooding and Emma kept sending him nervous looks.

Ruby was too focused on Killian to notice Emma's demeanor. She shouldn't have told him about Mary Margaret's news. Even five years later, he still didn't date, because of Milah and now finding out his friends were having a baby was bound to throw him back into memories of how things ended with Milah.

No one really noticed the movie was ending until the credits rolled.

Killian excused himself quickly, leaving for the bathroom.

The girls began the clean up.

"What's up with Killian?" Belle asked Emma, hoping for some insight.

Emma looked panicked at the question, which confirmed for Belle that something had definitely happened earlier tonight.

"It's my fault." Ruby groaned.

Both Emma and Belle looked at her surprised.

"I told Killian some news." Ruby said. "Some old friends from Storybrooke are having a baby."

"Isn't that good news?" Emma asked.

"It is, and on some level Killian is probably happy for them." Ruby sighed. "There was just this thing that happened before he left."

"Milah?" Belle questioned. Belle knew the bare minimum about the Milah story since Killian didn't like talking about it and Ruby was wary of the subject as well.

Ruby grimaced. "Yeah."

"Wait, who's Milah?" Emma hadn't heard of her before, but then again, she and Killian barely knew each other. Plus, it's not like either tried very hard to get to know each other.

Ruby glanced down the hall. She turned back to Emma and whispered. "Killian's ex. It was a scandalous thing for a small town."

"Why?" Emma asked, surprising herself.

Ruby hesitated, again looking down the hall to make sure Killian wasn't listening. "Milah was old enough to be Killian's mother. In fact, she had a son that was just a year older than us. To top that off, she was married and her husband was the wealthiest man in town."

Emma grimaced. Even without knowing more than that, anyone could tell that that was a love story where a happy ending was guaranteed never to happen. "Do I want to know how this ends?"

"Well, Killian left town five years ago, doesn't date or have friends outside of us, and can't even call his own brother or best friends." Ruby listed off. "So, no, you really don't want to know."

If it was what drove Killian to isolate himself and protect his heart, Emma could understand that. After Neal, after jail, she drifted around for years working thankless jobs with long hours and returning to cheap, shitty apartments. Then she came to Boston and had trouble with the law, and Cleo found her and took a chance on her.

Yet, even after these past couple of years with Cleo mentoring her, Ruby and Belle as her friends, Emma still tried to keep a wall up between them and her. Being alone was something that she had learned to live with a long time ago. Trusting others just wasn't something that she did, even with her friends.

It seemed that she and Killian had more similarities than she realized. There was an unspoken understanding between them, something that told them that they knew why the other was the way that they were.

"Wait, why would news that his friends are having a baby upset Killian?" Belle asked, her brows furrowed.

Ruby's eyes widened with worry as if she said too much. "It's just a reminder. You know, of how he's missing out, because he thinks he deserves it or something."

Emma narrowed her eyes, knowing that Ruby was lying. There was something else going on.

"We should go." Ruby said.

Belle looked ready to protest, but Ruby was already gathering her things. Belle turned to Emma. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Emma crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to flush as the kiss with Killian came to the forefront of her mind.

The other woman didn't look convinced. "I just thought that maybe something happened before Ruby and I came over."

This time Emma couldn't stop herself from being flustered. "No, no, nothing happened. We're good. It's all good."

Belle made a noncommittal sound, but said nothing more as she turned away and headed to the door where Ruby was waiting.

Emma let them out and they said their goodbyes. As soon as she shut the door, Emma banged her head against the wood and groaned loudly.

Not only did she fuck things up completely with Killian, but now Belle suspected something.

 _Great, just great. What am I going to do now?_

* * *

He hated the look that was staring back at him in the mirror. That haunted, sad, wounded look that made him feel like he was a kid again.

Killian scrubbed a hand over his face. His emotions were all over the place and he had no idea how to process everything.

When he thought about the fact that Mary Margaret was pregnant, that she and David were going to be parents, he was truly happy for them. It was just hard to hear. After what happened with Milah…Killian had been young, he still was, but he was willing to step up and be the man that Milah needed.

Be the father that he needed to be.

Then Milah decided it all for them. No more baby, and no more relationship.

It had been hell, the looks the he got in the streets, people who pitied him, people who looked down on him. Liam always lecturing him, his friends constantly trying to advise him, Gold lurking around with silent threats.

He wanted to go home, but as long as Gold and Milah were there, he couldn't heal from the scars she left on his heart, and he didn't want anyone to suffer Gold's wrath just by associating with him. Gold hadn't done anything before Killian left, but there were warnings. Warnings that no one else had to know about.

No, he couldn't go home again.

Then there was Emma.

She kissed him. He kissed her back. It was everything that he had hoped for since she had left him that night.

Killian could still feel her lips against his; how soft and pliant they were, how aggressive. There was so much passion within her; she left her mark on him, that was for sure. Even though she kissed him, Killian was worried that he might've pushed her. He had been so careful to keep his distance and give her the space that she needed, but now, he might've scared her off.

Things were beginning to go well with her. They were becoming friends and learning to live with each other.

With that kiss, Killian felt a sense of dread at the thought of Emma retreating behind her armor and pushing him away. The last thing he wanted was for her to avoid him again; for either of them to be uncomfortable. He had no idea how to fix this.

An apology was a good start, but what if Emma didn't accept it? What if she didn't want to hear what he had to say?

Why did she even kiss him in the first place?

Killian closed his eyes, a headache growing in his temples. It was all too much to think about. He rubbed at his head, leaving the bathroom.

He checked the living room to find the girls gone. Hopefully, Emma was still here. Killian walked back to her room, finding the door shut. His hand came up to knock, but he hesitated. Would she answer if he knocked? Would she give him a chance to talk to her?

He stared at the door for a moment longer, before backing away. With a sigh, he decided to give them both time.

They could talk about it in the morning.

* * *

 **The first thing I do want to say is that I am absolutely not trying to villainize Milah. Every mention of her so far are from people who were Team Killian or hurt by her (i.e. Killian) so these are very biased POVs (Liam especially in Killian's memories as he's overprotective big brother) so Milah has no defense, because Killian, Ruby, and Liam amongst literally everyone else, don't know the whole story. I hope to reveal the truth eventually. But Milah is definitely not the villain of this story.**

 **Also, I hope I'm doing some slow burn CS. I'm trying to do time skips so we can get to Emma's pregnancy reveal, but I also want to do CS justice.**

 **Red Beauty was also very cute.**

 **Mary Margaret's pregnancy was always planned and it will be plot relevant.**

 **Stay tuned for the next chapter where there will be something we all want…I hope lol.**

 **Until next time lovelies!**


End file.
